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Ok, so take a look at this new blog.. Pretty awesome stuff happening!.. check it out here!!

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Fall Memories

Since fall is pretty much over, I was reminiscing on memories that the season brings back. 

Way back, it was getting into the groove of a new year at school, reconvening with old friends, attempting to make it through until the weekend. 

At thanksgiving, making our way up to the trailer for our last weekend, staying in a little cabin, *freezing* with Andrea. Spending the weekend hanging with Sean and Reuben. 

Halloween for Hunger, a program where we'd trick-or-treat for cans for the food bank instead of candy was always a good time. 

In university, the excitement of striking out on our own. The metaphorical cutting of the apron strings. Sleeping in till noon, partying till 2.. somehow fitting in our classes, and just having a wicked awesome time. 

In Edmonton, standing outside the school doors with the awesome moms and other nannies, bracing ourselves for the cascade of children bound to fly through the doors at any given moment. Stepford Wives convening in their Prada and Gucci inside where their flawless skin wouldn't be exposed to the elements. Warren's halloween party, spider fiasco, carving gourmet (bloody difficult) pumpkins, a huge spider web over the front door that stayed up until Christmas. Nannied M and I going to the park every other day, to just have fun before the evil white stuff reared it's UGLY head! Not to mention the greatest day withe Nannied M ever! Itinerary including:

- sleeping in and watching cartoons with M in our jammies

- Nanny friend Jenn flirting with the waiter so the kids could have extra whipped cream, and teaching the girls to flirt as a result. (they tried it.. VERY cute)
- dancing in the car, and scaring a guy in the truck beside us on the way to the Science Center

- a snake jumping at me and me booting it for my life (which made the gurls HOWL!)
- racing our wallets down a lego car run- I won (Cause we are that cool )
- talking about Ontario with a staff member that originated from there.. :D
- flirting with the staff at the science center, which landed us a behind the scenes tour of some nasty creatures!! (the snake being one)

- NOT smashing into anything with our vehicle
- although my sunglasses were not so lucky ( thanks JENN!)

- begging to have one of the displays fixed because it looked like SOOO much fun! ( and succeeding! Dang we are good!)
- listening the kids thanking us for everything from taking them to not killing them
- watching the kids express their love for us to the staff who thought we were on glue.. :D... I loved that job!

And this year? BabyBoy toddling down the sidewalk, finding all sorts of treasures he -thankfully- did not feel the need to taste. BabyBoy playing in the leaves. 

Ah what a season. Must it end?!

Winter Wonderland? I think not.

Once a year, it happens. The gradual change. When all the leaves die and fall to their final resting place, on a bed of grass. When the trees all are quiet, not a rustle to be heard. When the brilliant colours of red, auburn, gold and orange fade to dismal browns, greens and white. When scurrying animals, and flying singers all recede to places unknown, until the sun shines again. 

This year, it happened all too soon. 

Driving by empty fields, and farm houses, the light dusting of white powder is bright in comparison to the gloomy skies.

Driving by a street corner, Catholic school girls wear their skirts a little lower than usual, the boys are bundled in coats, hats, mitts, scarves, and all huddle together in a little pack, trying to keep warm. 

As I drive, the whiteness comes at me. I try to run. It follows. Flurry after flurry of white matter, swirling around my car, enveloping the world in its icy grip. 

We arrive at our destination. I open the door, and catch my breath as I feel the biting cold, and crisp wind. Yet another reminder that it is here. It arrived. 

It is Winter. 

101 Things About Me- in progress- up to 51!

1. I still love getting up on saturday mornings and watching cartoons.

2. I love to go dancing

3. I want to learn ballroom dancing

4. I've been a sister to over 150 kids

5. I can't sleep with socks on

6. Bananas make my eyes itch

7. I like scrambled eggs. The thought of runny yoke is nasty for me!

8. I like being picky! about whatever I want! like I only like presidents choice white cheddar Mac and cheese! No others!

9. I don't overly enjoy tenting. Id rather be in my parents trailer where I am not sleeping on rocks, or with spiders and bugs. Ill still go, and I won't complain, but I just don't enjoy it!

10. I hate hummers, they remind me of lego.

11. Tim hortons and starbucks suck ever since I found second cup

12. I almost never get angry, only when someone hurts one of my friends and family, I'm overprotective

13. I would help out a friend at any cost.

14. I have an eye for matchmaking. I keep my ears open, and watch quietly, and I am fairly intuitive. "dr love ;)"

15. I hate it when people feel embarassed.. I try to discourage that as much as possible..

16. I cant talk. I accredit this lovely little thing to the fact that I learned half the words I know by reading.

17. I always make up words.. I love it.. if you dont.. you'll have to get over it..

18. If you ever need to talk, I'm always available... anytime.

19. I am not angry at the man who killed my mom

20. I am more mad at my dad who started dating 10 weeks after my mom died.

21. I wish I lived in the carribean. I am not meant for cold weather!

22. I can't remember the last time I had a great birthday

23. I like feeling needed

24. I nearly ran away three times while growing up. Usually on my birthday

25. I slept through two classes in the library in high school when I was on T3 from surgery

26. I only forged one note in high school to get out of class- and got caught.

27. I apparently don't know how to say 'no'. I agree to help everyone with everything and burn myself out.

28. People have always thought I was older than I am

29. When I was 12, people thought my younger brother and sister were mine.

30. I know everything that's going on with my friends, even if they aren't the ones to tell me.. so I sometimes wait to see how long it takes them to tell me themselves.. Usually doesn't take long.

31. In my first accident, I backed into a phone booth.

32. In the second one, I slammed into a transport. (I really am a better driver than it seems!)

33. Sometimes I get a little roadrage.

34. I hate taking care of ppl when they are intoxicated, however I still do it everytime.

35. I picked up my brother from a commencement party (which had the whole school there) in my pajamas :D

36. I want to visit Rwanda, Thailand, and Australia. Hawaii seems a little unattainable.

37. I don't really like my dad's current gf.. I'm worried she's going to hurt him. 

38. A guy once wrote me a letter that told me I was the "wood of his burning fire" (whatever that's supposed to mean)

39. Everyone called me 'mom' in university

40. I love being taken care of

41. I love cuddling

42. I am terrified of the dark

43. I like to name inanimate objects like my gps, car, phone etc.

44. I don't like the consistency of yogurt

45. I need feedback on everything I do

46. I've only ever broke 2 bones.. and they were fingers so pretty minor all things considering

47. My favourite colours are blue, silver, and black

48. I can pick up almost any musical instrument and figure it out.. and pay a short tune in almost no time at all.. 

49. I love to collect quotes. 

50. I don't think I'll ever like any of my dad's gfs.. not until they are a friend and then more. 

51. I only wrote number 37 because I'm pretty sure my dad is reading this. 

In those books

I grew up in a fairy tale. I grew up in the pages of the books I read. Let me explain.

I started school early. When I was three years old. I loved it! I learned to read very early and that was my passion. At recess, I'd be swinging, reading a book, going down the slide, reading a book. Walking, reading a book. Some of the girls used to tease me because I couldn't go for a day without reading. At night, my parents would give me a time limit, and I'd always go past. Then they'd hit that horrid little red button on the electrical outlet in the bathroom that would cut all power to my room. 

Not only did I read a lot, but I read super fast. I'd finish books in a matter of a couple hours. This was my life. And I loved it. 

I loved becoming part of the story. Feeling the emotions, going to other places, escaping from everyday life. Books like the Narnia series, Nancy Drew, the Trixie Beldin books, Sweet Valley High, Roald Dahl, all books and authors that were part of the world I lived in.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't one of those kids who had no friends, that the only friend they have are the characters in the book? nope! I had plenty of friends, it's just that my imagination worked overtime. 

Oh! and I learned to talk through my books. I learned new words everyday! And I knew them in context, however i couldn't say half of them. and I mispronounce words alll the time.. People used to make fun of me (my family mostly lol) and so I just don't even try to pronounce words that I'm 100% sure of. 

So, I still read (when I can), however I now enjoy writing.. So.. I may start throwing some of my old stuff up here.. 

But for now.. BabyBoy is calling my name.. 

My wish is to live.

  

Please, let it not be so. let my life mean something. let what i do be of importance, and please, don't let me fade away into the bland background of the history of time.

Why is it that when life gives you lemons..

you make lemonade?! why not make a lemon merangue pie?! Why are we so stuck on safe and normal?!

For instance, when you go to a restaurant, and are looking at all the options, why is it that we always order a quasadilla, or a hamburger, which we've had numerous times before, instead of something new?! Is it because you just don't want to make the decision? Is it because it's safe, and you know you are going to like it so might as well? Is it because the linguini with shrimp and avacado is just not 'normal' enough to consider??

Why are we a people who thrive on what is safe? Why do I not go and, despite my fear of heights and falling fast, go bungee jumping? Just for the hell of it? Why don't I wake up and randomly take off for a few days with a couple girlfriends? Why am I so content to be so complacent?

And it's the same with everything in life. I'm scared of new things. Things that are unfamiliar seem just silly to try. I'm terrified of making a fool of myself as well. Because whether I like it or not, I know that my decisions are partially decided by the kind of people I surround myself with. If something is deemed as a waste of time in the collective, then I'm definately not going to do it.. no matter how much I want to..

ok.. I may be ranting just a bit here.. sorry about that.. probably not making much sense either.. ah well.. maybe I'll be like the surfing instructor in Forgetting Sarah Marshall; "When life gives you lemons, just say 'F*** the lemons,' and bail."

The Gloom

It's everywhere. I can't get away from it. Every way I turn, it's there. Mocking me. 

I try to make it disappear. I smile, and it recedes. But then it's back, stronger than ever. 

I try to live with it, accepting it won't leave. But then the newly healed cracks in my heart return.

It's not me, you see, its the people around me. The people who walk around with the pain and hurt and emotion hanging over their head, for everyone to see. Take my dad for instance. After the Gloom entered our lives, he was a mess. Then, 10 weeks in, he gets a girlfriend. And everything is lollipops and rainbows. And then it becomes apparent that this probably has no future. And as soon as the Gloom had left, it returned. Now we return to days in bed, crying, randomly going out for the evening without telling us where he is, when he'll be home. 

Or my Grama, who lost her only daughter, and then freaks out at the Costco lady because mom's name is listed as a dependent on her card. She cries every time I see her. And I hate seeing that emotion. Because it makes me want to cry. 

And then there's my baby sister M, who has added the Gloom on top of everything she's going through as a 16 year old. Her smile fades quickly. She recedes to her room. Her comments/ responses are short and spiteful. 

Me? I've taken on a new look at things. I realize Mom is in a better place, and that the Gloom only has as much hold on me as I let it. I let things slide of my back that I wouldn't before. I am more patient than I was before the Gloom settled. 

Now, I do not EVER want a new 'mother'. And in a very selfish way I don't want Dad to get remarried for at least another 3 or 4 years.

I want it to leave. I want the Gloom to dissipate, and the cloud hovering over my house to be gone. 

I want to live. to move on. 

To never forget, but keep on living. 

Kids are my Passion

So, I ranted about how I still want to be a kid here. 

So now i want to tell you why I love being around kids so much. They are amazing. Fabulous. Their little minds are just so creative and wonderful! A child can see how I'm feeling better than some of my best friends.. they are very astute. They give hugs freely, and love unconditionally. You can just be you. And they are the cutest little guys ever!

I've heard some VERY cute things come from these little ones. 

My little brother Zack was pounding away on our keyboard. I asked him what exactly he thought he was doing?! 'I'm writing a story!' came the happy reply. I played along, "What's it about?". "I don't know!" he replied. "I can't read."

Ah, that child was some kind of cute!! So mischievous!! or...

I was running a daycamp a few summers ago, and a little guy, William (age 5) came up to me and told me that he knew where chickens came from. 'Eggs!' he stated, very proud of himself. I smiled, and then he said and he ALSO knew where chicken nuggets came from. Interested, I asked where. He said, from "Baby chickens! They are too little to be from mommy or daddy chickens!"  too cute! he was convinced he was amazing because he knew all the answers. 

They are soooo sweet!! BabyBoy, the other day, came and sat in my lap, grabbed my face in his hands and proceeded to tell me this long winded story that went something like this; 'garble garble giggle ba geee daa yee'... and here I am, thinking about what I have to do all day, and everytime I look away, he stops, turns my face till I'm looking at him, and then continues with his story. Ah man.. I love it!

Proposals

Today on the news, here was a cute little piece about a man who proposed to his girlfriend.. Awww!!! .. So the gf is a teacher of a grade 2 class, and so he lines up her kids, and they each have a letter that spells out the proposal!! I thought that was just TOO cute! 

I think proposals are the cutest things ever! and I always encourage my guy friends to think long and hard before they pop the question.. So that they do it just right!! :P

SO, do you have any cute proposal stories? or know of any??  

The Child Inside

I'm going to be very honest with you.. I still feel like I'm 12. With the addition of bills and taxes. 

Somebody once told me that there is no age where suddenly you feel like an adult. There's no transition where suddenly you feel that you are all grown up, ready to face the world. I had a moment where I felt flippin old when some kid bumped into me at the mall, and then said *to me* "sorry lady!" *to his friends* "old people!" (rolling his eyes). OLD people?! my friend and I just looked at each other. 

I still love the kid stuff. I love going to the store with friends to buy penny candy for the hell of it. Watching cartoons. Re-reading books I read as a kid.. maybe it's me trying to relive the 'old' days.. maybe it's time to realize that it's time I moved on.. 

Terrified

*note* I wrote this on June 13..

Im terrified

of what comes next..

of coming home and not having mom here...

of having to face every holiday, and birthday, without her here..

of not having a phone call from her everyday...

of having decisions to make that I never even considered..

of what to tell my siblings when they ask 'why'?....

of allowing myself time to grieve...

of going to a place for the summer where I dont want to be...

of returning to a place in my life where I never thought I'd come back
to..

of people who I know I will want to bite their heads off..

of the responsibility I gladly take on.. but still frightens me...

of leaving my life in the west...

of rekindling old friendships...

of leaving friendships behind...

of who I'll become...

of change..


most of all...
of having to say goodbye...

Getting nowhere fast

*ring!!*


'hello?'


'hey! this is your life calling!! not to bother you but do you have any idea as to when you'll have time to get back to me?'


'right!! hang on, let me get my calender.. ah! here it is.. mmhmm.. mmhmm.. ya.. this year isn't good for me.. and next year isn't looking great either.. how bout I pencil you in in September 2010?? I'll talk to you then! Bye!'


As you grow up, you entertain ideas of what you want to be when you are older. A mom, ballerina, teacher, author, social worker. That was pretty much my line of thought growing up.

But then reality sets in. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. I've always worked with kids, and I absolutely love it, so teaching would make sense. However there is a massive number of unemployed teachers in our province. I thought maybe social work, but then I'd want to slug every parent who doesn't treat their kids right, and the bigwigs who de cide what's 'best' for the kids in care.


And I tried a General BA at university, but after 8 months of it, I still had no idea what I wanted to do, and all I had to show for it was a huge debt and anti-depressants. yay.


So then I decided to become a nanny. Which I did! I moved away from home, got a great job, and had a great time doing it. But obviously I couldn't do that for the rest of my life! When my mom died, I moved home to stay home with the BabyBoy, and here I am.


Now I have no qualms about being here. I'm happy to be here, I certainly still have no idea what I want to be, so why not? But that's the problem. I feel like life is going so fast. Which, I know it really isn't so since I'm only 20, but almost all my friends are either married, engaged, getting engaged, hardcore into their schooling, got steady jobs, etc. And I really am none of the above. I'm just kind of... existing.


So where do I go from here? Life is moving.. I guess it's about time I hop on board.

God missed the Memo

*note: I wrote this on June 11, and since I don't have anything really to write about today, I thought I'd post this*

Life. fragile. fleeting. too short.

on friday may 30, I got a call from my dad that ended my life as I knew it. My mom had been killed in a car accident, and my baby brother was in a coma in the hospital. I was in Edmonton, over 3000 kms from my family.

This isnt how it was supposed to be. My mom was vibrant, kind, and a pain in my butt. I suppose cuz we are so alike.. we fought all the time.. she was supposed to live to be 115, with all of us going, "geez woman.. would you go already?!" and still poking her nose into our lives. 

But God missed the memo.

I flew home on the red eye that nite. In the process, I lost my cell phone, and a piece of luggage. I stopped at the hospital to see the baby. He was unconscious, was bruised, with all these tubes poking out of him. he'd been through so much already, I just wanted to pick him up and hold him.. but all I could do was hold his hand and cry. 

He was supposed to be home with us, with my mom, making us all smile.. trying to grab the phone when mom put me on speakerphone with him, doing his signs for please and up and more, and just being a baby.

But God missed the memo.

I came home, and my house was, as usual, full.. except this time with suffering and pain. A cloud hung over the house, and everyones faces. I went to my dad, and cried with him, holding him, telling him we'd make it through, when I myself dont know how.

Dad should have been picking me up at the airport, bringing me home to a crazy busy house with everyone going everywhere at once, my mom holding everything together. I'd walk in the door, and hug each of the kids, and mom.. and we'd talk about the flight.. and how much I dont like Air Canada compared to WestJet..

But God missed the memo.

Then came memorial plans. My dad was not exactly ready to deal with all that.. so I started making plans. I arranged for the band, for the center. for the food. for the wine. I had to talk to OPP about the accident, and make decisions about what next.

I should have been arguing with mom about borrowing the car, and who was making dinner that night. I should have been planning nights out with friends, shopping in london, dinner with the gurls...

But God missed the memo.

Then we had to bury my mom. We said goodbye, and they lowered the casket. I'll never forget the sound..

I was waiting till the day I was old enough to call my mom by her first name when I was exasperated.. like she does with her mom.. 

I was waiting for the day that we'd live in the same town and have the kind of relationship where we'd go to each others houses for coffee.

I was waiting for the day that we'd make the transition to friends, instead of the mother-daughter stress.

I was waiting for the day that I'd get married, and mom would be there to tell me that my bra strap is sticking out.. 

I was waiting for the day that shed spoil my kids, and then send them home to me, like my grama did with us..

I was waiting for the day we'd both be at FH, me with my kids in a trailer with hubby, and mom down the circle, waiting for her grandkids to come over for a hug.. and junk food that I dont allow before dinner.

I was waiting for the day that I could sing her my part of the song...

and I'll continue waiting...

Because God didnt get my memo...

Now I move home, and pack up my life in Edmonton, to help raise my baby brother, not as a mother mind you, but as a loving big sister. Its something that is hard, but something I want to do with all of my heart.. I now attempt to sorta step into my mothers shoes, and realize what big shoes they are. and as I do, I wonder... why?? why?? why did this happen? why to her? why to me? why to my family? 

Why didnt He get the memo??

matt asked me wasnt I excited to see where God was taking this?

my answer? I wish I didnt have to see where God was taking this. I wish my mom was here. I would give anything to have her back. 

I love you mom.. as for the rest of my life.. you know. Can you give Him the memo? 

Idiots behind the wheel.

You know how much I hate reading the newspaper, or watching the news. But a headline this morning reads 'Woman faces more charges in crash that claimed life of baby'.

 

Basically, a woman, who has been charged with impaired driving, collided with a car that held a mother and her three kids. The oldest two kids were sent home, but the mother and baby were transported to London hospital where the four month old baby died. 

This super pisses me off. People being idiots and not thinking.

My mom was on her way home in May when a truck driver slammed into our 15 passenger van, killing her instantly, and putting my baby brother into the hospital for two weeks with a skull fracture, in a coma for one. 

oh my god. I can't even finish this post. I'm shaking. I'm soo pissed off.  I'll finish what I want to say at a later date. 

Where in the world is..

Jonathan Taylor Thomas. 

I was wondering this as I was watching a very old episode of Home Improvement last night. I remember way back when I was in grade 2, and my bff N was in love with him. 

She'd come to school and tell us all about the latest dream she had that involved JTT. The most prominent one was where he came and whisked her away from school in the middle of class- a big production of course!- they'd drive off in his limo, and head for a very romantic lunch at... Harvey's. yup! Harvey's. Talk about romantic! Who wouldn't love a romantic lunch (because if she missed dinner with her parents, she'd be in BIG trouble!) with the smell of grease and heart attacks lingering in the air. When we all teased her about it, she insisted that it was very romantic because he paid the 'restaurant' to close down for those few hours so they could be alone. Oh baby oh baby!! 

Taking this little trip down memory lane caused me to think of all the little celebrity crushes going on nowadays. Zac Efron, the Jonas Brothers seem to be most prominent right now. I am the first to laugh at those who dream of "wouldn't it be nice if they noticed ME" and the "if I could just meet him, I know we'd be together forever!" But, I suppose, this is just them being kids.. If they want to dream of lunch with these boys at Harveys, have at it! 

I guess we laugh because we don't have those types of aspirations. Our eyes turn from Hollywood Hotties to the hotties living down the street that we'd never really noticed before. We turn from dreams to reality.

So to O, my baby sister, dream away little one, while you can. For tomorrow will hit you with a sad reality. 

By the way, today is Blog Action Day 2008, and I've created a link to a blog post about it, and some ideas on how YOU can help!! Check it out here! Lend a hand!! 

Elections.

Aw crap. that time of year again. My dad just called to remind me to go and vote, even if it is to just mess up the ballot. What's the point?! was my question. 'You have to exercise your right to vote!' came the reply. Well.. Its not that I don't know where to go. I can see the community center from my back window. And its not that I don't have the time.

It's just that I do not read the newspapers. I do not watch the news. I do not listen to the news on the radio. Call me naive, but I like my world as is. Not that I don't know what's going on out there... I spent the better part of my high school experience as the president of the Amnesty International chapter at our school, as well as the president of the Habitat for Humanity group at our school too. I know the world in general is in dire straights. 

However. I prefer to be completely oblivious right now. I don't want to know about the horrors going on around the world. Not when my life is good right now. Bah.. I'll come back to this topic in another post. Back to elections. 

So, since I don't read or watch the news, I know nothing of politics. I don't really know much about the candidates, or their platforms. Makes me a HORRIBLE citizen eh? Canada will now go down the drain because I don't know what is going on, thus I don't think I should vote. 

See, my not voting is really a favour to our country!! I think that people who know  about the candidates, and have spent time forming an opinion should be voting. I'm not one of them.  

Bah. I'm frustrated. Politics is something that just frustrates me to no end. I feel stupid for voting, and stupid for not. I guess I should pay more attention to what's going on. 

... or not!! :D

its who I am

I don't know why it is.. But it is there. A feeling.. an ice covered rock forever lodged in my chest. 

I am embarrassed. I talk to push out memories that are in my head. Feelings, of being embarassed, of wanting to be completely invisible. Of things I've done, things I've said, things other people have said. Just complete stupidity. And they stay with me. Memories, they keep piling up. And I keep remembering. I can't let them go.

I fight to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. I laugh and make people feel better in awkward and uncomfortable situations. But it's not for their sake. It's for mine. Because I feel embarrassed when they are embarrassed.

I don't think its only embarrassment though. I think it's also rejection, guilt, incompetent. Half the time, I don't measure up to the expectations set for me. I can't. I try. and I fail. Again.

And maybe that is really what the feeling is. Failure. Failure to be all that I'm expected to be. Failure to keep others comfortable. Failure in general. 

I'm one of the few people I know who holds onto arguments, hurts, disappointments, grudges, and sense of self worthlessness longer than any other person... It sucks. 

I don't want to be this way. I want to turn my head and not care. But I can't. It's not who I am. I do care. No matter how many times I say I don't. That I'm okay. That it's alright. It's not.

I'm not. 

Until today..

Until today, I thought I was doing alright. That's usually how it is.. I'm doing sooo well in life and then somehow I manage to totally mess it all up BIGtime.. welcome to my life. 

Until today, I didn't know what I wanted.. I had no goals.. until then I realized that there was one thing I wanted more than anything.. and that I should be working on a heck of a lot harder than I am.. That one thing is.. just being the best version of me I can be..

Until today, I loved where my life was going. I loved where my relationship with my family and friends were, I loved that I was missed back where I once lived. I loved that every once in awhile, I was the center of attention.. the center of somebody's world.

Until today, I was happy. Now? we shall see. I did something stupid. I don't know how he found out, but I'm almost glad he did. if it wasn't through here, I've deleted my posts right away. It would hurt him too much. 

Until today, I liked myself. and then I remembered how it felt to hurt someone you love.. and I changed my mind. 

Peace and Quiet

After a RIDICULOUSLY busy week, I'm looking forward to the entire family going away for the Thanksgiving weekend. I'm pretty stoked. A weekend of wine, bubble baths, and PEACE. I could not be any more excited. 

A weekend of no runny noses, no making dinner, no picking up after the kids. Its music cranked, friends coming round and no naptimes to plan around! 

Im free.. and excited.. but that will not start until tomorrow. So for now, I must go.  And deal with all of the above that I will soon be rid of for THREE WHOLE days. 

Alright... Have a good one!

Movies from the past, and present

This is a list of my favourite movies. Per usual, I will continue to update it as my mind allows me to remember it.




These are movies that I loved as a child


Muppet's Frog Prince

The Ewok Adventure - clip

Brave Little Toaster

Labyrinth

Fern Gully

A kid in King Arthur's Court

These are movies that are good Family friendly movies

Secondhand Lion

My Favourite Martian :D

Good cute movies

Ella Enchanted

Enchanted

These are good young teen movies

Extreme Days

Another Cinderella Story

Picture This

These are good chickflicks

Return to Me

Walk to Remember

Notebook

27 Dresses

Princess Bride

Ever After

Mighty Joe Young

Good stay in your pajamas movie

the Lakehouse

the 10th Kingdom

Good Musicals

Grease

My Fair Lady

Newsies

Hairspray

West Side Story

Annie

American Mall for a slightly younger crowd

Chicago

Phantom of the Opera

Mamma Mia!!

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Rodger & Hammerstein's Cinderella

Good Laughin movies- parental guidance advised!!

Good Luck Chuck

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Good Thinkin movies

Illusionist

The Invisible

These are good cartoon movies

Madagascar

Happy Feet

the Wild

These are good Princess movies

Anastasia

Beauty and the Beast; The enchanted castle

Cinderella 3

Want to see

The Fantasticks

Carrie Underwood!!!

Sorry for the fuzzy pics.. I was taking with my BB, so the quality is not great...

So the evening started out with Little Big Town.. can't lie.. didn't really know any of their songs.. but they were alright.. I was looking forward to the headliner.....

... *audience going psycho*

CARRIE UNDERWOOD!!! *hold for applause*

Awww, the show was amazing. Fabulous. Superb! She called up a little 5 year old girl for "All American Girl", and had her sing it with her, but sang it "Canadian Girl" instead. SOO cute!!

Now, I love Carrie, I really do.. but really. Her superhero outfit?! I was not a fan. Its a dress with a vest over top.. Not feeling it.. at all.. *sigh*

Ok, this wardrobe trick makes up for the retro craziness before.. 

She wore this gorgeous gown, and in the middle of one of the songs, the skirt suddenly flies off and its a cute little dress. Very very neat...

"Before he cheats" the Encore

Songs she sang? 

Flat on the Floor
Wasted
Get Out of This Town
The More Boys I Meet
Just a Dream
Jesus, Take the Wheel
I Know You Won't
I Ain't in Checotah Anymore
Crazy Dreams
I Told You So
Last Name
Don't Forget to Remember Me
Twisted
All-American Girl
So Small 

Encore: 
Paradise City
Before He Cheats

mmk I'll talk more about Carrie tomorrow.. for now? its bedtime! Nite!

The Mystery and Magic of Young Minds

I love reading other people's blogs. Some of them bring back such memories. I just finished reading Clever Girl Goes Blog: My magic., and I was reminded of some of the magic I thought I had possessed when I was young.

First of all, my cousin and I thought we could walk on air. I mean, we would take two small steps into the air so that we were hovering only a mere few inches off the ground- enough to be able to walk through the house without mom realizing we weren't actually napping as we were supposed to be, and were actually stealing our way to the cookie jar. I suppose we had just gotten to the point where we knew all the right places to step, where the floor wouldn't give way just a bit. To this day, my cuz and I still talk about how we could 'walk on air', and get away with anything.

At school, my bff Nicole and I had read a book, which talked about water that was all powerful, and any who drank it possessed the ability to do anything. So, we'd go down to the candy machines, and instead of water, it would be magic smarties that would give us our strength. In the middle of class, when we were having trouble doing something, we would reach in to our desk, exchange a look with the other, and pop our magic 'pill'. And, somehow, things didn't seem so hard.

The kids from my little town would gather in the "kids fort", a cleared area among the bush out behind the old horse racetrack, and we would convince all the younger kids that we had the power to do anything to anyone we liked. We would put a hex on the caregiver that yelled at us to get out of the bushes. We would 'bless' the house of our favourite old lady who would always have time to give us some fresh lemonade and cookies. We'd have initiations where the little one would have to go to the "forbidden area" (the mill behind our house) and put one foot inside the door, before running away, scared to pieces of the terrors we'd explained existed behind that door. We sure were awful sometimes.

And the imagination! When we played hide and go seek, my friends and I would go and fight our way into the biggest closet in the house. Past old clothes, helmets, bins, and finally past my dad's old motorcycle helmet and leather jacket, we entered a world apart from our own. Where we'd have adventures for hours, especially when my brother was the 'seeker'. It was, after all, a very good hiding spot!

Mmm, we did have some good times back then. And, now that I've entered the world of decisions, bills, and heartbreak, what I wouldn't do to have a little of that magic back.

A Day in the Life...

7:00 wake up call!

7:15 wake up call #2

7:30 wake up kids

7:40 wake up kids take 2

7: 55 yell at kids to move their butts

8:10  get ticked at sister that missed bus

8:11  come up with long list of chores for said sister to do until which time I feel like driving  her to school

9-10 Clean Clean Clean!!! makin it "picture perfect"

10:00 put baby down for nap

10-11 fold laundry

11:02 take hammer to defective smoke detector

11:20 with pounding headache, leave house

12:00 drop off dry cleaning

12:10 deposit cheques at bank

12:18 pick up movie- "First Sunday" 

12:45 pick up Mellie 

1:00  oil change

1:15 pick up water filter

1:25 pick up car

1:50 pick up Ken

2:05 pick up furnace filter

2:17 lunch!!!

3:20  grocery store

3:40 go to Mellies to make jello shooters

4:30 go home

5:00  arrive at home and order 3 large pizzas, each with half and half different toppings

5:30  pick up pizza

6:30 give baby a bath

7:30 decide I'm too tired to go out with the girls

8-9 make finger foods for tomorrows party

9-10:30 watch "first sunday"

10:30- 11:42 flip at dad for being a spaz

11:42 record the days events on my blog

whew. that was more intense than I thought..

SHOOT! I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. DANGIT! 

bah....have a good one.. 

Random Thought

Last night, I watched Goldilocks and the three bears on tv with my baby sister.

 

Most know the story. 

Goldi finds the bears' cabin, tries each of their bowls of porridge. One is too hot, one too cold, one just right. 

Then she tries the chairs. One is too hard, one too soft, one just right.

And finally she tries the beds, where the first is too big, the second is still too big, and one just right. 

Then Mama, Papa, and Baby Bear find her in the bed and they scared her away. The End. 

And yet, only one question came to mind. 

Among the story, we find family in discontent. An upset relationship. Something not quite right. 

Because if not, ....

...Then why did Mama Bear and Papa Bear have separate beds?! 

A Formal Affair...

I spent the better part of today driving kids around, calling churches about potential wedding sites for my friend Mel's wedding, and looking at bridesmaids dresses (I'm M.O.H. yikes.) What do you do when half the wedding party is a size minus 0, and the rest is umm.. a bit more.. curvy?? 

One bridesmaid wants a dress which is essentially the length of a long shirt, and goes down enough to show more than a little cleavage. Another wants floor length halter. And the bride wants us all to have the same dress.. For flips sake! And, to get rid of the hassle, she's placed the whole decision solely on.... yours truly. loverly. How do you appease 5 different girls, with different tastes, body types, skin tones, and ideas of the perfect dress?? Stay tuned for catfight to ensue. 

And the shopping went about as well as the calling around. After speaking to secretary after secretary, and priest after priest, I decided they should elope. That would solve all the problems! My dad always said that since weddings are so expensive, he will place the ladder outside our windows for us! I always wondered why he wouldn't just let us go out the front door?! Less chance of spinal injury. 

Then comes DJs, caterers, Bartenders and Liquor licenses, wedding favours, guest lists, invitations, bridal showers, and the list goes on!

Bah. What a hassle. All I can say is that I hope this is one of the best times of her life. If it is, then I guess it'll all be worth it.