Getting nowhere fast

*ring!!*


'hello?'


'hey! this is your life calling!! not to bother you but do you have any idea as to when you'll have time to get back to me?'


'right!! hang on, let me get my calender.. ah! here it is.. mmhmm.. mmhmm.. ya.. this year isn't good for me.. and next year isn't looking great either.. how bout I pencil you in in September 2010?? I'll talk to you then! Bye!'


As you grow up, you entertain ideas of what you want to be when you are older. A mom, ballerina, teacher, author, social worker. That was pretty much my line of thought growing up.

But then reality sets in. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. I've always worked with kids, and I absolutely love it, so teaching would make sense. However there is a massive number of unemployed teachers in our province. I thought maybe social work, but then I'd want to slug every parent who doesn't treat their kids right, and the bigwigs who de cide what's 'best' for the kids in care.


And I tried a General BA at university, but after 8 months of it, I still had no idea what I wanted to do, and all I had to show for it was a huge debt and anti-depressants. yay.


So then I decided to become a nanny. Which I did! I moved away from home, got a great job, and had a great time doing it. But obviously I couldn't do that for the rest of my life! When my mom died, I moved home to stay home with the BabyBoy, and here I am.


Now I have no qualms about being here. I'm happy to be here, I certainly still have no idea what I want to be, so why not? But that's the problem. I feel like life is going so fast. Which, I know it really isn't so since I'm only 20, but almost all my friends are either married, engaged, getting engaged, hardcore into their schooling, got steady jobs, etc. And I really am none of the above. I'm just kind of... existing.


So where do I go from here? Life is moving.. I guess it's about time I hop on board.