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Saturday, October 11, 2008

Until today..

Until today, I thought I was doing alright. That's usually how it is.. I'm doing sooo well in life and then somehow I manage to totally mess it all up BIGtime.. welcome to my life. 

Until today, I didn't know what I wanted.. I had no goals.. until then I realized that there was one thing I wanted more than anything.. and that I should be working on a heck of a lot harder than I am.. That one thing is.. just being the best version of me I can be..

Until today, I loved where my life was going. I loved where my relationship with my family and friends were, I loved that I was missed back where I once lived. I loved that every once in awhile, I was the center of attention.. the center of somebody's world.

Until today, I was happy. Now? we shall see. I did something stupid. I don't know how he found out, but I'm almost glad he did. if it wasn't through here, I've deleted my posts right away. It would hurt him too much. 

Until today, I liked myself. and then I remembered how it felt to hurt someone you love.. and I changed my mind. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Knowing yourself takes years to achieve, let alone liking yourself!

I feel your guilt, but your hurting too – by hurting someone you care about it brings it home, maybe you fucked up, but there is always tomorrow. We can’t all be perfect all of the time.