Confident? pah! Confused? abso-freekin-lutely!!

Living with my family in a little black hole in the middle of nowhere (I call it a black hole as it seems to suck all friends, fun and life in general out of me), I only see my friends on rare, random occasions. However, they all have a view of me. The same view as the newspapers took, and somehow every 'outsider' (anyone who isn't immediate family) takes. They all think I'm so confident. Confident. Me. Confident. WHAT?! They really don't know me at all. Everything I do I totally play out in my head to make sure nothing could go wrong. I'm second guessing everything I say and do. For some reason, they see me as a headstrong young woman who is 'going places'. Funny, when I look in the mirror I see a very confused young woman who doesn't know where she's going, with no self-confidence. I'm forever terrified of someone putting me down, because I do it enough to myself. Believe me! I don't need any help! I don't understand how people look at me, and see the complete opposite of what I feel. 

Not to mention that just LIVING in my parents house, I constantly feel like Im 12 years old. All. The. Time. Like I'm supposed to be growing up, getting older, moving on, and I can't. I'm trapped in this world where I'm forever an immature kid. 

That being said, I have decided to go back to university!! As of this september, I will once again become a full time student at one of our amazing Canadian Institutes of learning :D I'm going to become.. a Social worker!! :D I'm excited, but we'll see how it goes.. Last time it didn't go over so hot. Hopefully, this time it'll work out! :D 

Ah well, right now I'm concentrating on my February trip to the Dominican Republic with my bestie Lola :D Have a good one all! 

Impressed..

High school.. something I experience over and over again when I go out on weekends to local the local bar/ club. In general, that aspect of going out is not something I enjoy. I'm not a fan of running into people I haven't seen since high school, and in all honesty, didn't really care to see ever again. However, thats besides the point. 

In high school, as always, there were cliques. You got the Jocks, the Nerds, the 'Outcasts' (self- proclaimed), the Goths, the floaters.. and the Puck bunnies, or Gap girls as we called them. The jocks are the ones I'm going to discuss.

The jocks were the hockey players that seemed to coast through life on the coattails of people like me.  People as they deem 'smart' and could use to their advantage.. and like every other non- gap girl in the school that they chose, I allowed it. I was annoyed about it, but, glad to be accepted by the more 'popular' group. 

I graduated high school, glad to be rid of them forever. They went on to play in the CHL. I moved on to university. Then, on Saturday night, I saw one of them. The first I've seen since graduation. And he apologized. He apologized for everything. And he apologized that his friends were such pricks as well.. I was pleasantly surprised! and amazed.. and confused. But also impressed.

Not many people would take the initiative or time to go out of their way to apologize for something that happened so many years ago. And it's amazing how much animosity I was feeling for those boys. And it's amazing how those two words, 'I'm sorry' has taken it all away.. I've decided that there are a few advantages to growing up I suppose... 

Tales from the Maid of Honour.. Part 1

My entire weekend consisted of weddings. Not the weddings themselves, but books, websites, stores etc. Now, before everyone goes :O what?! you?! really?! no. I'm not getting married. Thank God. I'm a maid of honour this summer, and have at least 5 other friends getting married as well in July. Not cool. Apparently I'm in that age group where the cool thing to do is all get engaged at the same time.. fun. 

But I digress. So. The bride-to-be has no clue what she wants, and told me it's all up to me so some friends and I go to the bridal store to get some ideas for bridesmaid dresses. I am SO not a dress kind of girl so imagine my distress when I realize I have to decide between strapless straight, strapless sweetheart, halter, spaghetti strap, etc. And then length! Cocktail? Tea? Long? or how about the cut? an overlay? crinolin? (or however you spell the damn thing) what material? heavier? lighter? full skirt? holy crap. 

I used my friends as models, throwing multiple dresses at them to try on, while I took pics .. :D  I think I know what I want now, which is awesome. But I came to a few realizations/ guidelines when buying a bridesmaid's dress...

1) The day is all about the bride. DON'T pick some over the top frilly, attention grabbing dress that's going to take the focus off her. I am going for something simple, sleek, and will compliment her dress. 

2) DONT go with any colour thats too light. We were looking at pictures of weddings, and in some cases, you can't tell where the bride's dress ends, and the bridesmaids dresses begin. I think a stark difference is required. Again, it's all about the bride. 

Bah. I have another 6 months of this stuff just for this wedding, and every time I turn around, someone else is getting engaged. Yikes. Be expecting a lot of ranting about weddings and preparations in the coming months. Sorry.. but at least I'm giving you advanced warning! :D 

Dearest Blog...

I know.. this is long over due.. No.. I haven't forgotten you... I just.. am at that point in my life. where all my thoughts, dreams and aspirations are in a jumble in my head.. and I'm having issues writing it all down.. I'll be back.. I promise.. I just need a little more time.. I just need to find my muse.. and I shall, my sweet friend.. I will.. 

Pics from my Cruise

This christmas, we decided to take a cruise in the carribean to get away from the whole being at home business.. it would be too hard. So, we packed our bags and headed to the carribean! We boarded Saturday, at sea sunday, pulled into Mexico on Monday, Day at sea on tuesday, Wednesday in Grand Cayman, Thursday (Christmas) in Jamaica, Friday a day at sea and saturday we were back in Miami!  

 I love this picture.. the shadows and such just worked so well!! 

The piano bar on the ship.. where we spent many a night, and many a drink with lots of fun new friends.. Belting out Margaritaville, attempting Bohemian Rhapsody.. Good times.. Good times..

This was in Mexico.. I took a pic of the neat store.. and until I put them on the computer, I didn't realize how scary those clouds were! 

Wicked awesome truck.. Definately came back with enough rum to sink a ship.. mmmm!!

"wastin away again in Margaritaville!".. Enough said!

THAT is my 63 year old grandmother parasailing. Yup.. my grama.. up there! 

Ooh.. a view I miss terribly!! :(

In Mexico, we got a taxi to a nearby beach, where we had some drinks, played in the sand and slept the day away in the beautiful sun. That night we went shopping. In Grand Cayman, we shopped the day away! We had margaritas in Margaritaville.. It was wonderful. In Jamaica, my grandma and BabyBoy and I hired a taxi to drive us around just seeing the island. We met the 'spice doctor', a man who taught us about all the spices and herbs on the island.. which was pretty neat.. and then, of course, shopping!! 

I'll add more pics later.. maybe some videos too.. but I promised these, so here they are! :D