Living with my family in a little black hole in the middle of nowhere (I call it a black hole as it seems to suck all friends, fun and life in general out of me), I only see my friends on rare, random occasions. However, they all have a view of me. The same view as the newspapers took, and somehow every 'outsider' (anyone who isn't immediate family) takes. They all think I'm so confident. Confident. Me. Confident. WHAT?! They really don't know me at all. Everything I do I totally play out in my head to make sure nothing could go wrong. I'm second guessing everything I say and do. For some reason, they see me as a headstrong young woman who is 'going places'. Funny, when I look in the mirror I see a very confused young woman who doesn't know where she's going, with no self-confidence. I'm forever terrified of someone putting me down, because I do it enough to myself. Believe me! I don't need any help! I don't understand how people look at me, and see the complete opposite of what I feel.
Not to mention that just LIVING in my parents house, I constantly feel like Im 12 years old. All. The. Time. Like I'm supposed to be growing up, getting older, moving on, and I can't. I'm trapped in this world where I'm forever an immature kid.
That being said, I have decided to go back to university!! As of this september, I will once again become a full time student at one of our amazing Canadian Institutes of learning :D I'm going to become.. a Social worker!! :D I'm excited, but we'll see how it goes.. Last time it didn't go over so hot. Hopefully, this time it'll work out! :D
Ah well, right now I'm concentrating on my February trip to the Dominican Republic with my bestie Lola :D Have a good one all!
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