A Wonderful Christmas.. in Jamaica Mon!

Well hello there! long time no talk.. So.. I'm in sunny, wonderful Miami.. got back yesterday from our cruise which was FABULOUS. I have lots of stories.. but I'm gonna use those stories for later posts. And I definately have videos that will make you laugh till you cry. Pics to come.

Anyways, I spent Christmas in Jamaica, meeting the Spice Doctor, and buying enough rum that everyone now thinks I'm an alchy.. which I am okay with.. It was wonderful to wake up on Christmas morning to the SUN and warmth. SO different from the 6 feet of snow we have in Canada. Luckily I was able to avoid Santa for the most part, which was a definate pro.

I go home tomorrow, and will be returning to the freezing cold. It will not be a good day. I did however want to say hello.. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday with your families and loved ones. Talk soon!

pissed off..

convo a few min ago.. 

A mother- 'How is your week lookin next week?'

me- ' oh, you know.. busy.. doing a lot of work and packing and fun stuff. what with Tuesday (which should be my mom's birthday), this week is gonna be pretty shitty.'

witch on the other end of the convo- 'welcome to my world'.

WTF. 'Welcome to my WORLD?!'.. I am 20 FLIPPING years old. I should not know about your world. When I am 45 like you, I'm sure I'll know a DAMN lot about your world.. but until then? SCREW off.. LET me have an OUNCE of my youth.

see.. I'm the type of person who doesn't get angry easily.. but this freaking comment.. this condescending comment.. pissed me right off.. oh man.. I'm so pissed.. retarded. I think I've been dealing with a lot pretty FUCKING well.. and now a comment like this makes me wanna punch someone in the face. GRRR.. ok.. I'm going to bed.. like I said, I have a LOT to do.. 

You asked for it... part 2

**note** this is the last of the questions from the other day.. I'll prolly do it again in a few months.. 

If you could have any one wish at this very moment, or do something relatively realistic, what would it be and why? 

well, at the risk of sounding like a 12 year old loser.. and because everything else I would generally say are already on the books (aka visiting africa, going to the carribean with friends for a get-a-way).. I would want to spend a week with my baby sister O on the set of the third twilight movie. yes. I am a loser. but I would love to see how it all works.. and my sister is obsessed with Kellan Lutz so.. it'd be the nice thing to do. 

If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who would those people be? What would your message be?

That one person can make a difference. And never stop being YOU. Don't be who your friends/family think you SHOULD be.. just be you. 

What makes you feel great about yourself?

uhh.. I have no idea.. getting a massage, getting gel nails, going dancing, feeling accepted.

Who inspires you most?

mm.. My mom.. and good writers .. oh! and Dr. Laura Slessinger (or however you spell it) .. or she

did when I was little :P 

What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.)

Music.. Listening.. Understanding people. 

What do people typically ask you for help in?

People problems. Family feuds, problems with friends.. that sort of thing..

If you had to teach something, what would you teach?

English. or Special Education. 

What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?

*cheese alert* my happily ever after? 

What are the values you look for most?

honesty, loyalty, compassion, reliability, security, respect. 

What were some challenges, difficulties and hardships you’ve overcome or are in the process of overcoming? How did you do it?

THAT will have to be a post of its own.. I do not have time for that one :P

Are you a klutz? 

uh.. ya. pretty much. 

First quote that pops to your mind.

Hate is easy. Love takes COURAGE.

You asked for it.. part 1

Is there anything you regret/ enjoyed about taking in foster kids? Can you remember them all? Are there any that stick out in your memory? 

Oh man, well.. I'll start with the positive. I enjoyed having kids around that were from all different backgrounds.. and hearing their stories.. There was always that day, with each of the kids, that they would just open up and tell you their story. Usually that was a sign that they had accepted me. 

The regret one and most memorable would probably be the same.. perhaps because of the regret. A boy I went to high school with, one that I didn't hang out with.. who was the one who did drugs, and was class clown. Mom called me one day in math class asking who "that boy in the police cruiser the other day" was. When I said his name, (we'll call him Josh) she immediately dismissed it, figuring him no good for the family. I convinced her otherwise, knowing he was a good guy deep down, and maybe my parents could straighten him out a bit. 

It was a weird time. I was 16, and the eldest of 6 teens, ranging from 13-16 living in my house. I had to help enforce rules ie) no girls in boys rooms, no boys in girls, since the foster kids sometimes took to crushing on one another. On one occasion, Josh decided to swear at me.. in front of my 7 year old sister. I did not take to this kindly. I found out later he'd been bringing drugs into my house as well, although my entire family suffered from asthma. Either way, I pretty much spazzed at him.. and left the house.. saying I wanted him gone before I got home from school.. and he was. Eighteen months later I found out he'd pulled a gun on his roommate for money.. and I keep thinking that maybe if I'd been more patient, allowed him to stay just a little longer.. maybe he'd been different. I try to be a little more forgiving of people now.

One of the hardest things to do, is to make sure to be inclusive. To make it so it's not our family, and then the foster kids. The foster kids always went on family trips, outings.. were always very welcome. It was hard at times to not pull the whole "its MY house. so EFF YOU!" thing on them. I wanted to sometimes! 

And I definately CANNOT remember them all.. I could probably remember about 40.. maybe. 

How far into college are you? What is your major? 

ah ha! the question.. I'll have to give you the full story.. *inhaling deeply*

So, in September of 2006, I began my first year of university. I was in Waterloo, going through for sociology.. figuring on becoming a social worker or counsellor.. then it struck.. I was in my room, in the dark for about 2 months before being diagnosed with depression, and having my record exponged. Basically.. I know have to decide what I want to do, and then go back.. I really don't know. I might go to Kenya and end up staying there.. who knows?! 

Any love in your life besides baby boy? 

umm.. not at the moment.. I'm not really in the right place to be meeting anyone right now. I'm just kind of content to be..  plus, I've met maybe 6 new ppl in the last 6 months lol.. so no... BabyBoy is the only one that holds this heart! 

How many other kids are you raising? How many kids all together. 

Mm.. well.. at the moment? the rest of the kids are old enough that they don't need the same type of care that BabyBoy does.. I have 4 brothers and sisters though. My brothers, J (17) and BabyBoy (19 months), and sisters M (16) and O (12). (but thats not counting all the foster kids we've had over the years)

Is your dad still dating? 

He says he's not.. And she definately has not been calling.. and he's not on the phone very much.. and no more trips to Ottawa.. so I don't think so.. :S

Are you a neat-freak?

Uhh. I wish I could say yes.. but I'm really not. My room looks like it's been hit with a tsunami, tornado, and hurricane all at the same time. BUT.. I only keep my room like that.. the main areas ( the areas I share with people I live with) are always kept clean. 

Any movies you can watch over and over?

Return to Me, Anastasia, the Labyrinth 

Do you sing?/ Play any musical instruments?

Um.. I sing.. ish.. I did a lot of school plays growing up.. thats about the extent of it. oh! and when I was a nanny last year, my employer got his own concert when I thought he was out and singing his daughter to sleep.. lol..  I play the piano, the flute, guitar, however I can play any musical instrument I put my mind to really.. I play by ear.. which is pretty neat.. 

Did you have an imaginary friend as a child?

This is embarassing. Yes. But it was friendS, and they were ladybugs.. Ya.. I don't know.. weird.

Do you wear pjs anywhere other than in your house?

BAH hahahhaa.. where DON'T I wear my pajamas to?! I get it from my mom. We even wore pjs to her memorial. But really they are scrubs sooo.. they look more normal than regular pjs. 

Do you have any phobias?

oh man.. ok.. I'm deathly afraid of the dark, under my bed (Apparently I'm two. I know.), spiders, Santa Claus and clowns. 

Ever come close to death?

Twice. When I was a baby, I nearly died because of how bad my asthma was, and last year when I was in my car accident. 

Friend you have known the longest?

hmm.. Hannah S.

Sweet/ sour??

Sweet?

Are you usually late, right on time, or early?

lol.. depends.. rarely early.. usually on time.. sometimes late.. usually late when meeting friends.. usually on time for appointments. 

Something or someone you miss most from childhood?

hard one. probably being able to dream without having to be reasonable.. 

What makes you smile?

Friends.. BabyBoy.. A good book.. A romantic gesture.. A kind word.. 

What activities make you lose track of time?

Reading books, blogs (like Sandi's.. or David's... its too good.. ) you tube videos.. lol.. daydreaming..

Favourite Alcoholic Beverage..

Porn Star.. no.. white freezie.. no. alabama slamma.. oh.. I dont know.. I like em all.. 

Mm.. Difficulty

I am having such trouble coming up with anything to write about as of late. I have no idea. I know I've have been blogging VERY little lately.. and so.. if there is anything anyone wants to know about me/ my warped life ... Leave it in a comment, and I'll do my best to answer..