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Monday, November 10, 2008

Who is the person you can't imagine your life without?

This was a question on a 20SB discussion thread. And I have no idea how to answer. Eight months ago I would have said my mom. But I'm living it out now. And surviving.. somehow.

Then I think maybe BabyBoy, but there's no 100% certainty we'll get him for sure, since the adoption is still going through. And I've dealt with kids that were like siblings and part of the family, kids that I loved dearly, leaving. Being adopted by another family. Gut-wrenching pain. So, as usual, the one that isn't for sure staying drops off the list. 

The rest of my family? Well, I love them all dearly, but since Mom passed, I know that it'd be painful, and hard, but we'd get through it. 

And now, I wonder who it is I that I can't imagine my life without. Maybe my best friend. But I've said that about friends before, and I've always moved on. (sorry Jenn.. please don't hate me lol)

Does it make me cold-hearted if I say somewhat sadly that there is no one I can't imagine my life without? That losing mom made me lose all hope of having those that I love around me as life goes on. 

1 comment:

Sandi said...

Not cold hearted at all, just someone who has loved and lost before.

I felt the same way after the divorce. I built the walls up tall and strong and it didn't matter how much I loved the person, I would never get close enough to anyone that could destroy me when they left.

That was three and a half years ago. Now I would say that I would die without Brandon, but we both know I wouldn't...I would keep going and it would suck. But life goes on even when things change, or when someone is taken from us. That is the worse part for me. The sun just kept on coming up. Like it never got the memo that my world had ended......

I totally understand why you couldn't name a person.