Our house would be blasting Christmas music from the beginning of November for as long as mom could keep it going. Christmas was always the same. Christmas Eve we'd open our Christmas Pajamas, and then hit the hay. Then, Christmas morning, sometimes at 3 AM, usually at 7, my baby sister would bounce into my room, waking me up. Then she'd go get our parents up, who would take FOREVER making coffee and setting up stockings. My dad would get out the video camera, and we'd stampede down the stairs. Then came the three hours of around the circle gift unwrapping, oohs! ahhs! a mountain of wrapping paper, CinnaBuns, and coffee with liquor.. Good times.. So now we must decide. Pain now? or pain later.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Decisions Decisions! and christmas memoirs..
One of the hardest things about this first year after mom was killed is the whole what we should/ shouldn't do for holidays, birthdays and so on. For example, our big dilemma right now is whether or not we should decorate the house for Christmas. It was always mom's big holiday, she absolutely loved it. We'd have 2 trees. The one in the basement was upside down, hanging from the ceiling. Christmas decorations were everywhere, and the house smelt of cinnamon. One tree would be store bought decorations, the other would have all of our handmade ones from over the years.
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Do what feels right to you. For me, I would want my kids to make it feel good to them. If good to them is what I had done their whole life, then that's what I would want. It seems more horrible to make it totally different. That would suck trying to pretend Christmas wasn't coming, and the tress not up, the music not playing. But then again, it could just be too painful. Obviously I am no help at all.
I am feeling for you. Hugs and good thoughts your way!
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