HBI- A Confuzzling Conundrum

**NOTE: I apologize in advance if this post insults anyone in anyway. That is not my intention at all. Then again, I judged people so much for so long, I guess I have no right really to ask for anything less. and if you want to read a good post about this topic thats less emotional click here lol

A conversation I had recently. 

Friend: I'm gay.

Me: That would explain a lot. 

Friend: Do you think I'm going to hell?

Wow. uhh. Wow. 

Me: I.. uh.. couldn't tell you..

Friend: I've tried so hard not to give in to it. And I've tried to like girls, but I just can't! 

Me: You don't have to justify yourself to me!

Friend: I know. But I pray everyday. For forgiveness. 

Bah. Poor guy. He can't even tell his family. Now let me give you my background.

I grew up in a Christian home that took in foster kids. Us bio kids were expected to be role models and good examples for the kids that came into our home. My mom and dad were also very set in what they believed and, as a result, I was the same. I believed that homosexuality was a sin, and, although you don't choose to be gay, you do have the choice to act on it. 

This was me all through high school. I was the top debater in my religion class. I could discuss it for hours. 

Don't get me wrong, we didn't go to any anti-homosexual rallies or anything. We were taught to accept them, but that what they were doing was wrong.

And then one day, I realized that I didn't know what I believed. I came up with some things that just seemed downright hypocritical.

1) Christianity teaches that God loves everyone, and that we are called to do the same. Last time I checked, homosexuals are people too.

2) The Bible says that God will judge. It's definately not my job. And I don't like other people judging me so what the hell kind of person would I be if I did it?!

3) The Bible says that all sins are equal. So if I lie, it's the same  as the guy who murders. So how hypocritical would it be to condemn another when I'm not perfect?

So, I decided that I was done with all that. I decided that I believed in God, and I try to be the best person I can be. But you don't have to be a self-righteous bitch about it. 

But then you have the whole family issue. If I told my dad how I felt about this, what would he say? Would he be hurt that I didn't continue on in the faith that they tried so hard to teach us through their lives?

Really though, what right do I have to tell someone they can't love someone?! It's a matter of the heart. And ever since my mom died, it's really hit me that you have to live your life to the fullest. Take advantage of every second you have, because you only live once. And who knows which second will be your last? 

'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.'