My Safari- Part 1

Lions, tigers, giraffes, cheetahs, wildebeest, zebras, seaturtles, elephants, hippos and monkeys. What do all of these things have in common??

In five months, the answer will be me!!! That's right, I'm heading to Africa this summer! We are talking two months of epic fun. I'll be updating you more as time goes on, however our plan right now is to spend five weeks at the orphanage we've built in my mom's name, and then head out on an adventure for the final 3 weeks, spending some time in Tanzania, (hopefully Rwanda and Uganda) and exploring Kenya's wildlife.

I figured an explanation as to why I have been neglecting my blog once again was in order.

I am so excited!

<3 Mhea

My Relief

Last week, millions of Americans and Canadians who share the love for the hit TV series 'Lost' held their breath as they waited for word from the White House on whether the premiere would be pushed back for the Obama's State of the Union speech.

I was admittedly one of those millions.

Luckily, the White House determined that Lost trumps the President so, we can all relax, sit back and wait to be completely, totally and udderly confused. Anyone who has seen Lost knows that the idea for the show was probably conceived after ingesting large quantities of LSDs and other hallucinogens. Anyone who can come up with such a strange, twisted, confusing, complicated storyline without the help of such drugs should probably be committed. I've often said that I believe that the writers of Lost probably sit around a storyboard getting high. Every once in awhile they move on to something stronger, and that's when the story gets really twisted. Who else could come up with polar bears on a tropical island, moving an island through time, a black cloud monster thing that eats people, etc? And the way everything fits together? Brilliant insanity.

And yet, I, along with millions of other viewers like myself put ourselves through the weekly torment of having no idea of what is going on, assuming that everything will be explained, and all the loose ends shall be tied in the final season. Alas, the producers have let everyone know that our curiosity shall not be satisfied. They will keep us guessing, and probably will have set the stage for fans to be arguing whether it was a good ending or not for decades to come.

I had promised myself I would not get swept up in the Lost phenomenon, much like I did with Twilight. However, once again, I gave in and joined the movement. As a person who hates philosophy, loves it when 2+2=4, and a+b=c, I have a feeling this ending is seriously going to frustrate me!

~Mhea

My Puppy

Back when I used to be on here more regularly, David from The Rest is Still Unwritten tried to convince me more than once that trading in the baby for a puppy would be the best course of action. Over time, I came to agree that we did need a puppy, although there is no way in hell I'd give up my BabyBoy! :P On October 2, 2o09, we picked out my newest baby. This is Toby. He's a Golden Retriever, and the SWEETEST dog ever. He and BabyBoy get along alright, they have their attention issues, and sometimes enjoy harassing one another for the hell of it, however all in all, an amazing pair.

Both of my babies

He's gonna be a scholar. My smart puppy!

Halloween '09

The most recent pic I have.

He's got a claim on my passenger seat, however will give it up most graciously. He's in his second level of obedience school, and is doing very well! He can have a bit of a stubborn streak, he doesn't like what we are doing, he'll just sit down and refuse to move, looking at me like 'Oh sure! You first!'. He's terrified of blenders. He loves his treat ball and playing fetch. He's my baby!

~ Mhea

My Obsession

The theater has always been a wonder to me. Growing up near Stratford, On, which is pretty well known for it's Shakespeare Festival Theater, I've always loved going to the fabulous plays they put on. My favourites thus far being The King and I and Oliver!. They do amazing musicals!



For the past few years, Christopher Plummer has been starring in a few of the plays, (for those of you who don't know, Christopher Plummer played Captain Von Trapp in the movie Sound of Music) and I cannot wait to see him onstage!


There's something about musicals that just make me so happy. I can't stop smiling, and the tunes are stuck in my head for weeks! Then I buy the soundtrack, movie, and whatever else I can get my hands on! I've always dreamed of getting up on stage and performing, however have never attempted it. I have the greatest respect for actors. I've heard that the reason the characters start singing is because they've reached such an emotional state of being that words just aren't enough, and clearly hearing the words in song is a bazillion times better!

Below I've posted two videos from youtube. Both are written and performed by the same group, StarKid, a bunch of graduated Michigan College kids. I've only put on Act One Scene One from each play, but I think you'll get the idea.

The first one is a musical they wrote called a Very Potter Musical. I was a bit skeptical at first, since I wasn't really a Harry Potter fan, however they changed it all up and made it absolutely hilarious!





The second video is from a play they wrote called 'Me and My Dick'. OMG. Hilarious! How people think this stuff up is beyond me! They wrote the entire musical themselves. Like I said, this is just A1S1, and it just gets more and more hilarious as it goes on!



Essentially, what it comes down to is my intense love and obsession with all things musical. The story, the emotion, the intensity. I heart it all!

My Return

I'm back! :)

Ok so things that have happened since the last time I posted:

- Finished my summer of wedding after wedding. Thank God! However now a whole whack more people just got engaged, so next summer isn't looking much better!

- Finished up my summer job running the daycamp for underpriviledged kids. Twas a good summer! The kids were (for the most part) pretty good! Very little police involvement, and no SWAT team!

- I got a puppy! Toby is now five and a half months old, a Golden Retriever, and amazing!! Pics to follow.

- I'm still at home with BabyBoy, who is doing amazing!! He's a fabulous little boy!

- I'm starting courses, planning on starting back to college/ university in September 2011 for Social Work with a minor in Culinary Arts!

That's pretty much all the major stuff that has been going on! Still living in a little hole-in-the-wall town where nothing happens! Which is alright for the present.

Well, I think that's it! Talk soon!

- Mhea

Always loved, Never forgotten.

One year holds so many things...

Smiles... Laughs... Problems... Solutions... Sunny Days.. Chilly Nights... Travelling.. Birthdays... Anniversaries.. Holidays...

So many things make up a year. So many things happen. And you don't realize how many little things you take for granted, until you lose someone close. You don't realize how much you miss the little conversations, the constant annoying msn messages and the consistant nose butting into our lives.

You don't realize how much changes, how much this single event, this one person leaving your everyday routine will change you. How when once you were patient, forgiving and open, you find yourself frustrated, angry and harsh. When the silliest reminders make you cry, and feel like your heart is breaking all over again.

One year. But seems like a million.

Love...

Growing up, I never had a real urge to get married. I want kids, but have never wanted what I considered the hassle of a husband. I never really could grasp the concept of real, true love. I saw fairy tale love which I considered a sham from the first. I'd seen too many broken relationships to fall for such foolishness, even though in a dark corner of my heart, I longed for it to be true.

Sounds ridiculous, but in the back of my mind I've always had the notion that we have a type of family curse. Not too many women in my family have survived one marriage, most making it through at least two or three. I've always had a thought in the back of my mind that I don't want to go through that kind of hurt.

But then something happened. No, I didn't meet his eyes across the room and know that true love exits. This isn't even about a boy, or at least my boy. This is about two people I hold close to my heart. A dear friend of mine, Katrina, and by extension, her new husband, Levi.

When I found out they were to be engaged, I was surprised! Time flies and I hadn't really realized how long they had been together! When I was talking to Katrina, I only had one question, and being as I didn't know Levi, nor had seen them together, I think it was fair. "Do you love him?". Katrina's answer was a resounding "DO I?!"- and coming from Katrina, that is all I needed. I was instantly happy for her.

She knew my feelings on marrying young, how I thought people were getting married too young, and not giving themselves time for adventure and to enjoy their youth. She maintained that she was still going to have adventures, and what's better than to enjoy them with the person you love most in the whole world?! I can't argue with that!

Then I saw a picture of theirs, an engagement photo. They are both under an umbrella, and looking at one another. They both look so happy, so in love, so blissful. The love that shines there is unlike what I have ever seen before Mature. Giving. Selfless.

Then, the wedding. I must tell you, she looked radiant. Absolutely stunning. And they looked amazing together! The way they looked at each other was- well, there was no other word for it than epic. The love that shone from their faces was so pure.. so unhindered.. so.. amazing.

Now they are off on a VERY extended honeymoon, three months or more travelling around France, Europe and heaven knows where else! Katrina is certainly getting her adventure!

I shan't lie. They have definitely laid all of my past doubts about marriage to rest. When you see them with one another, I think it might be worth the risk..

So here's to Katrina and Levi, long may your love last.

<3> Mhea

why the need??

I was raised in a Christian home. I grew up with the mindset of most Christians. The shallow, religious Sunday School answers, and not really diving fully into what my faith really means. When my mom was killed, well, even before that when I was diagnosed with depression, I started questioning. I stopped going to church for quite awhile, and just became numb to the whole thing.

Fellow 'Christians' became drama seekers, and a pain in my ass. They all want the inside scoop, and would judge and gossip about my family and I. Not something I want to deal with.

Lately I've begun going back to church and to a Bible Study to make people around me know that I'm not a heathen, and am trying to make an effort. But it pisses me off! These little brats sit there all high and mighty judging me, yet not questioning their own faith.

Yesterday I was told that the definition of sin is the nature of humans. I fully disagree. I believe that sin is a word, thought or action which would be in opposition with what God wants.

I was also told that a certain percentage is destined for Heaven, and the rest for Hell. I personally think that is bullshit. I believe that if you are 'good' in your deeds, and aren't loving towards people, you judge and discriminate, then you aren't exactly following God's laws either!

Last week I was told that all things can be done through prayer if you just believe. And if it doesn't work, you don't really believe. Bahhhhh...

Then they had 15 minutes for prayer time. Well, I'm sorry but God and I are on a break, we really aren't speaking at the moment. So don't ask me too pray for the group/ in front of the group/ with the group. Trust me. I have my reasons, and they are pretty damn good ones too.

I don't know if I can continue attending! It frustrates me to no end! If we disagree with something, they just throw out another Bible verse, that has nothing to do with the situation, time period etc.

They like picking apart every word of the Bible when it has been translated from another language, one that has twice as many words than the english language. Grrrrrrrr...

"The greatest turnoff to christianity everywhere is christians themselves." - my favourite quote on the matter.

Ok, I'm off to work. Have a good one all :)

<3> Mhea

Tired...

Tis summer.. and to some, that means sitting back, relaxing, and taking in the fresh air. For me it means 35 kids, one coworker, a constant headache and a surprising desire for liquor.

I'm running a daycamp for low income housing kids. They are good kids, and have so much potential, however because of their lot in life, acting out is common- in a big way. Every day I get home and flop down, ready for bed. The emotional drain these kids take outta you is insane! This is my third year doing this job, so I know most of the parents and kids. Doesn't make it any easier. Every day I wonder why I'm doing this. And then a child comes up and says that I'm their favourite, or that they love me, or just gives me a hug, and I remember.

These kids just need love. They need a firm caring hand. Sometimes its hard to not get carried away and get frustrated (I'll admit I'm guilty of that in a big way!) but they really just need someone there to listen, to care.

I keep having to remind myself of this. Even if I can help one child, my summer will be worth it.

People ALWAYS leave.

I have a theory...

People always leave. It's a rule. And sometimes I forget that.. and I let myself get too close to someone, or know too much about me.. and it always bites me in the ass. 

When I used to have bffs, I'd never tell them too much about me.. I'd keep it so we were always talking about them.. it was better that way.. what they don't know can't hurt me.  Ever. 

So the bffs I thought I had need to go. Clearly trust is something I've become a lil too free with. 

Friends.. friends are good.. not too personal.. its a good thing.. I need to go back to having friends.. and only friends..

bffs are of the past my friends.. of the past.. 

I think part of my anger and frustration with everything stems from my mom's anniversary of her death. Since then I've constantly been pissy and bitchy. and Definitely okay wiht it. I dont wanna deal with any more bullshit. I may or may not have started redirecting that anger at my friend... ugh.. I am my biggest downfall..

My Enemy

I am my biggest downfall

I am my own worst enemy. 

I sabotage the best things in my life

In fear of the worst. 

I refuse to get hurt

By anyone, ever.

If I think there's that chance,

It's goodbye forever.

I will not cry

Over anyone or thing.

I'll stay strong for me

It's all I can do

I am my biggest downfall

I am my own worst enemy. 

Angel girl

Halo..

I never promised you a ray of light  

I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday  

I'll give you everything I have  The good the bad...  

Why do you put me on a pedestal?  

I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below  

So help me down, you've got it wrong  

I don't belong there  

[Chorus]  

One thing is clear  

I wear a halo  

I wear a halo when you look at me  

But standing from here  

You wouldn't say so  

You wouldn't say so if you were me  

I always said that I would make mistakes  

I'm only human and that's my saving grace  

I fall as hard as I try  

So don't be blinded  

See me as I really am  

I have flaws and sometimes I even sin  

So pull me from that pedestal,

I don't belong there  One thing is clear  

I wear a halo  

I wear a halo when you look at me  

but standing from here  

you wouldn't say so... 

The Fruit Game

Back at camp, one of the ways that we girls would bond would be through playing the fruit game. We'd assign a fruit to each of the guys based on attributes, 

Mango

Definately an acquired taste. When you first meet them, you aren't too sure about them. After awhile, you decide, and either love em, or hate em. They have a solid core, are sweet, and somewhat mushy. You have to catch them at the right time, and can get messy unless handled properly. They are not also not too bad looking. 

Red Delicious

Good looking on the outside, it hides many bruises. Egos tend to be a problem with RDs. Looking like a  million bucks, they are often disappointing. 

Avacado

Somewhat odd looking, a little strange. An acquired taste- at first you really aren't sure about them. Even if you don't like them, you still have to admit that there's something different about them you have to give them props for. Solid core, slightly mushy. 

Pear

They are the most feminine of all guys. Whether it be gay or metro, pear is where they are at. no real core, very soft. 

Strawberry

Wears their innermost emotions on their sleeve. Sweet, unassuming, but can sometimes be sour. The kind of guy that makes you feel better when you are having a crappy day. 

Macintosh

A typical all-canadian guy. Well liked by all, good looking, funny, sweet, kind, mischievous. Manages to be typical, yet original. 

It's just a little fun for a friday morning! 

<3> Mhea

Friends and the way we move..

Me- I can almost guarantee you that you will not have the same friends as you have now in 10 years. 

Sis O- Yes I will! I'll be friends with them FOREVER. 

Me- Friends, yes. But not as close as you are with them now. 

Sis O- why?!

Me- Because as friends grow, they choose different paths. And then they find new friends that are on that path. 

She didn't believe me. I didn't believe my mom either after she told me that my friends and I won't be friends in 20 years. I was convinced we'd all still be best friends. As it were, I don't talk to any of them. I figured through high school, when we'd all leave, we'd all still be sooo tight! Fact is, I'm not super tight with anyone really from high school. Now camp is another story. My best friends are the ones I met at camp. I'm still friends with all of them still after years. 

In general I think I'm afraid to get too close to anyone because I know that eventually they'll just leave. Whether it's to actually move to get a job, or go to school. Or if they get a new boyfriend, and their whole world suddenly revolves around this new love interest. Or even if they get married. Life changes. And I don't like it! I'm selfish, I know. And I know that people are going to move on with their lives. 

<3> Mhea

Weddings = a political pain in the ass.

With all the buzz about weddings, I've come to realize that there is a huge element of politics just in choosing your bridal party. So, I've decided to see just what my own wedding party would look like. 

So, if I had to decide on my bridal party right this moment, it would be as follows:

Maid of Honour- Lola

Bridesmaid #1- Petra

Bridesmaid #2- Femke

Jr. Bridesmaid #1- Sister M

Jr. Bridesmaid #2- Sister O

Ringbearer would CLEARLY be my BabyBoy

The first three are really my best friends. I've already been told, not asked that I'll be MOH for Femke, and, although she's only been dating her new boy for 6 months, I've already met the best man..

Now that I think about it, I can understand why so many people have so many bridesmaids! There's still Hannah, my friend since birth, Steph my best girl from Edmonton, my sister Shannon, Melissa, and thats just the start! All would be horribly disappointed if I didn't have them in my wedding. 

But then, there are just as much politics in who to INVITE to the wedding. Where do you draw the line?! Do you include everyone on your facebook list? Do you keep it to close friends and family? If so, what about those close friends that you just suck at keeping in touch with?!

See?! As if there weren't enough worries with the wedding itself, and the marriage itself, you have to add all this other stress. 

I've come up with the best 2 choices, as far as I can see. 

1) A beach wedding. Anyone who wants to come, feel free! Dance and DJ, BBQ to follow. :) HOW FUN?! Minimal stress, still beautiful. 

2) Destination Wedding. Your favourite ppls and you in the Carribean, celebrating your big day?! I'm so down! 

As for the wedding party.. well.. I'm not getting married.. so I can only pity those who are.. ha!!

<3> Mhea

Madamoiselle Me at your service..

Ever since I was little, I've been that person. That person who listens to everyone about everything. That person who knows what's going on with everyone's lives. That person who will go to the grave with anything you've told me. 

I've been that person that will listen and nod, give a hug and a smile. 

I've been that person who doesn't judge, doesn't get fed up with people's repetitive bullshit. 

A few examples. Young man I worked with when I was 15, just lost his mom 2 or 3 months earlier. When it happened, he clammed up and wouldn't talk to anyone. At all. We are sitting there in the sandbox playing with the 2 and 3 year olds and he starts telling me the whole story about how he found his mother dead. I had no clue WHAT to say. So, I didn't say anything.. I just let him talk.. Well, this apparently opened the door for his sister to tell me her side of the story.. And from there.. it just continued. 

I had so many girls in high school asking for me and my mom's help when they thought they were pregnant. I'd be called out of class to peer mediate group issues. 

That's what kind of girl I've been. The one that is always here to listen. And just smile. But I'm sick of the same girls thinking they are pregnant 4 times in 3 months and not learning their lesson. I'm sick of hearing the same sob story about the same guy who broke her heart 3 times but 'he's changed'. I'm sick of how utterly stupid people are. I don't know how to deal with them anymore without having a major freakout on their heads. I find myself pulling away from them all.

Patience is something I lack at the moment, and I don't know how to get more of. Maybe I just need to take a break from all of the crap in everyone else's lives.  

<3> Mhea

one year goes by too fast

Saturday was the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death. Harsh to remember everything.  The fam and I went over to African Lion Safari. It's essentially a zoo you drive through. Lions come up to your car, Monkeys sit on your roof and side mirrors. You can ride an elephant. It's awesome. The GREATEST experience ever. BabyBoy had a blast, freaking out over all the animals. On the way, we picked up a backpack carrier for him, so he spent the day chilling in that on my back, and then my dad's. THE BEST creation of life. He loves it, I love it. It's wonderful. 

BabyBoy rode an elephant, he absolutely LOVED it. All in all, a good enough day all things considering. Maybe later I'll share some memories and such. For right now, BabyBoy needs some attention. 

<3> Mhea

Not forgotten...

Dearest Blog, 

I've done it again. I've neglected you. Ignored you. Rejected you for other things. 

I apologize. 

Its not you.. its me. Really.. I'll be back soon.. I promise. I just... need a little time to figure me out.. 

I'll call you ok? 

<3> Mhea

Random Thought.. Me x10

'It makes you all that you can be.

It makes you tenfold on the outside,

what you are on the inside!'

~ Bartok the Magnificent

This is a quote from a cartoon I was watching with BabyBoy and it got me thinking. In the movie, the witch Baba Yaga has Bartok, a little bat, help her create this potion which will make him all that he can be. However, the prince's evil caretaker drinks it instead, she turns into a dragon, when she was assuming she'd become even MORE beautiful, MORE desired.

So if I had this magic potion, what would I become? Would I become a dragon? Spewing fire and frightening everyone around me? Would I become an ugly evil witch?! Would I become a beautiful butterfly? Who knows? I guess it's something to think about.. 

If you were you x 10.. what would you turn into? what would YOU be?

Holidays..

Spring Break 2004- Cruise to Eastern Carribean

Christmas 2008- Cruise to Western Carribean

Reading Week 2009- Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic

Summer 2009 Trip- Cedar Point, Cleveland and NYC

Christmas 2009 Trip- Puerto Vallerta, Mexico 

Reading Week 2010- Panama

Summer 2010 Trip- Las Angeles, California

Winter 2011 Trip- 

Summer 2011 Trip- South Africa

Winter 2012 Trip- Cruise

Summer 2012 Trip- Backpacking through Europe