Prisoner

Let's go on an adventure, let's just wave goodbye
Let's hit the ground running, and run 'til we die

The road is an open door waiting for me,
My life is so stagnant, what's out there to see?

I need a change, a hope, a cause
I need some time to realize the loss

I need to get moving get out of this rut
I can feel freedom calling, but the door's been shut

There are manacles that hold me here
A prisoner to my fear

God Missed the Memo

I've been looking over old writings of mine since New Years, and decided to recycle this one, being as I don't actually have time to write a post. I wrote this soon after my mom's accident. 

Life. fragile. fleeting. too short.
On Friday, May 30, I got a call from my dad that ended my life as I knew it. My mom had been killed in a car accident, and my baby brother was in a coma in the hospital. I was in Edmonton, over 3000 kms from my family.

This isn't how it was supposed to be. My mom was vibrant, kind, and a pain in my butt. I suppose because we are were so alike.. we fought all the time.. she was supposed to live to be 115, with all of us going, "geez woman.. would you go already?!" and still poking her nose into our lives.

But God missed the memo.

I flew home on the red eye that nite. In the process, I lost my cell phone, and a piece of luggage. I stopped at the hospital to see the baby. He was unconscious, was bruised, with all these tubes poking out of him. he'd been through so much already, I just wanted to pick him up and hold him.. but all I could do was hold his hand and cry.

He was supposed to be home with us, with my mom, making us all smile.. trying to grab the phone when mom put me on speakerphone with him, doing his signs for please and up and more, and just being a baby.

But God missed the memo.

I came home, and my house was, as usual, full.. except this time with suffering and pain. A cloud hung over the house, and everyone's faces. I went to my dad, and cried with him, holding him, telling him we'd make it through, when I myself don't know how.

Dad should have been picking me up at the airport, bringing me home to a crazy busy house with everyone going everywhere at once, my mom holding everything together. I'd walk in the door, and hug each of the kids, and mom.. and we'd talk about the flight.. and how much I don't like Air Canada compared to WestJet..

But God missed the memo.

Then came memorial plans. My dad was not exactly ready to deal with all that.. so I started making plans. I arranged for the band, for the center. for the food. for the wine. I had to talk to OPP about the accident, and make decisions about what next.

I should have been arguing with mom about borrowing the car, and who was making dinner that night. I should have been planning nights out with friends, shopping in London, dinner with the girls...

But God missed the memo.

Then we had to bury my mom. We said goodbye, and they lowered the casket. I'll never forget the sound..

I was waiting till the day I was old enough to call my mom "Ronalee" when I was exasperated.. like she does with her mom..

I was waiting for the day that we'd live in the same town and have the kind of relationship where we'd go to each others houses for coffee.

I was waiting for the day that we'd make the transition to friends, instead of the mother-daughter stress.

I was waiting for the day that I'd get married, and mom would be there to tell me that my bra strap is sticking out..

I was waiting for the day that shed spoil my kids, and then send them home to me, like my grama did with us..

I was waiting for the day we'd both be at FH, me with my kids in a trailer with hubby, and mom down the circle, waiting for her grandkids to come over for a hug.. and junk food that I don't allow before dinner.

I was waiting for the day that I could sing her my part of the song...

and I'll continue waiting...

Because God didn't get my memo...

Now I move home, and pack up my life in Edmonton, to help raise my baby brother, not as a mother mind you, but as a loving big sister. Its something that is hard, but something I want to do with all of my heart.. I now attempt to sorta step into my mothers shoes, and realize what big shoes they are. and as I do, I wonder... why?? why?? why did this happen? why to her? why to me? why to my family?

Why didn't He get the memo??
Matt asked me wasn't I excited to see where God was taking this?
My answer? I wish I didn't have to see where God was taking this. I wish my mom was here. I would give anything to have her back.

I love you mom.. as for the rest of my life.. you know. Can you give Him the memo?

Les Mis Love

I have a secret.

Okay, it's not really a secret. Considering I wrote a blog on the subject already.

I love musicals. However I don't think I can just call it love. It's an obsession. When I find out a musical is coming out on film I get excited. Then I see it in the theater, and I am so curious as to how they are going to portray each song, and I can't wait for the next song so I end up missing half the movie. So I go back and see it again. And again.

Case in point.  Les Mis.

This movie was phenomenal. The emotional intensity that comes when they do a musical is insane! This particular one even more so! Singing all of the songs live? That is an epic feat that they pulled off beautifully. 

I have this problem though. I see a musical and my heart is so full, and my head is full of lyrics and wonderful melodies. Then I can't remember all the words so I go to iTunes and buy the soundtrack, put it on repeat and bask in the greatness. Then a sadness comes. Almost a mourning. A desire to be a part of something so entirely epic, beautiful and pure. It is a feeling that cannot be put into words. It is a tugging on the heart, and an ache in the chest. That something so fantastic and wonderful is so far out of my reach. It is like the stages of grief. I know it will come with every musical. Well, every musical except Chicago.

Les Mis was everything I could have hoped for. The raw emotion and organic culmination of singing and acting was absolutely mind blowing. The entire score is so amazing, it's hard to narrow down to a favourite, so I picked my top two favourite songs. Click on the name for a youtube video of the song.

A Little Fall of Rain performed by Samantha Barks and Eddie Redmayne
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables performed by Eddie Redmayne

Both of these songs are wrought with such pure emotion I found several times through my day as I was listening/ singing along that I was brought to tears by both of these songs. Keep in mind that I do not cry easily.

The lyrics and meaning of a Little Fall of Rain break my heart! It takes place after Eponine, who is in love with Marius, who is in love with Cosette, literally takes a bullet for him. She is dying in his arms, the picture of unrequited love, and she's telling him not to worry.

EPONINE

Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
You're here, that's all I need to know
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
And rain will make the flowers grow.
MARIUS
But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above,
If I could heal your wounds with words of love.

Wow. Those words. Bring me to tears every time. Absolutely gorgeous. In the last moments of her life, she feels all of those feelings she's been longing for, and receives if not the absolute love of her Marius, at least the belief that it's there.

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables is one that I love simply because of the absolute beauty of the emotion in Eddie Redmayne's voice. You can literally feel the pain and sorrow of a man who is the only who survived among all of his friends. It is funny that I chose two songs that were performed by Eddie Redmayne. I'll admit that when I first saw the movie I was not impressed with him. I am very specific as to what kind of voice I like, and I don't like the warble you get with an opera-like voice. However, on my second round I came to really like him. His rendition of Empty Chairs just blows me away.

So what do all these feelings boil down to? Partially maybe it is simply my attempt at sorting out my current obsession with Les Mis. Also, the decision to take up singing lessons again. Just for kicks and giggles. There are two little girls that come here in the morning before school, and on days such as this when I am up early and have time to spare, I like to take my time singing in the shower. Apparently they heard it, and said it sounded 'pretty'. That made me smile. Singing is such a personal thing. It leaves you vulnerable and I don't do vulnerability well! So here I go, stepping out of my comfort zone. Wish me luck!

You know, if my life were actually a musical, I would have absolutely found my happily ever after. Wouldn't matter where I was, or what I was doing. If it was in song, I'd be in heaven.

xoxo
Mhea

Written Doodle

I was wondering earlier why it's so hard to sit down in front of my computer and find the inspiration to type something out? I can sit down with a pen and paper and after a ton of doodling it suddenly starts to flow. Words, strung together into something that makes sense, and sometimes can even possibly be thought of as beautiful.

Yet I sit down in front of this screen and draw a blank. Maybe my doodling is my form of getting the juices flowing. So I think I'll try a written doodle. I apologize in advance if this blog is just completely scatterbrained and illogical.

One of the things I'm looking hoping to accomplish this year is to figure out where to go from here. Where my life needs to head. As the name of my blog suggests, I'm constantly on the search for My Happily Ever After, which makes it sound like there's an endpoint. However in my head its moving. There's flow and movement to my ever after.

If you've been reading my blogs, or know me at all you'll know it's something I've been struggling with since I left university. I decide I'm going to go back to school, or do something else, but something always prevents me from going forward. I don't know where I'm meant to be, but I believe He is going to provide me with the answers when He is ready. Until that point I'll just continue looking towards Him and looking for the sign.

Ok I'm going to go off on a tangent. I mean, it's my written doodle so I guess it's my right to go off in another direction for a minute.

Signs from God. I feel like people expect a lot from God. I remember hearing this joke about a woman who prays every day that God will let her win the lottery. After a few months go by and she still hasn't won, she gets frustrated and asks God 'why?!'. God responds with 'You have to meet me halfway! You have to BUY a lottery ticket!'

Isn't that how a lot of us look at God? We ask for things, and blame Him if they don't come through, without trusting that He is simply going to do what is best for us, whether we like it or not at the time.

We are so quick to throw judgement at God. Why do bad things happen to good people? I went through a time after Mom's accident where the Gloom had total hold on me and I was just angry with God. A God that I had been taught about since I was young couldn't possibly allow such a terrible event to occur to such a good person. If that was what God was about, I wasn't interested. It wasn't until later that I let go of that anger, frustration and pain and accepted that it was out of my control, and trusted Him with it.

When we ask for things, we expect it to be hand delivered on a silver platter. We expect it to work out exactly how we expect/ want it to.

Granted, sometimes it does. I'll be the first to admit that I've had times in my life when I've been so sure of something, only to have God whack me in the forehead and remind me that He is God. That I am nothing without/ next to Him and I need to trust Him and stop leaning on myself.

We need to pay attention. I feel like God talks to us a lot, or tries to, but we are too busy. I know I get too busy with my work, tv, iPad, friends, facebook, etc. and a lot of the time put God on the back burner. And I know it's something I need to work on.

Okay tangent over.

So I don't know where I'm going to go next. I do know that there are a few things I would like to get into in the meantime. But maybe that is a post better left for tomorrow. Again, my apologies for my scattered post.

xoxo
Mhea

My FTL List

Lola had a minor freakout at the name Bucket List, so we renamed it the Freedom To Live list. Tis a list that allows us to do whatever we want outside of expectations, labels, etc. A few things that are on our list include:

- Mardi Gras in New Orleans
- Something nerdy
- Something extreme
- Pottery
- Take a bartending course
- Road trip it to L.A.
- Trip to Africa


Then we decided to start a bucket list for in the future.

- See the seven wonders of the world.. This one comes from Lola.. I think she's nuts.. but hey! lol

It's a work in progress. With any luck, we'll be able to accomplish (most) of it.

Wow. I started this post over 2 years ago. I sat down to write out my New Year's Resolutions and here I am,  reading through old drafts of posts long forgotten.  Well, need it be said that one of my NYR is to blog more?

I find that in my busy life, things I love to do get set aside. Writing has always been a passion of mine. I love the flow of words, the picture they can paint, and I love that my thoughts become clearer as I see them typed out on the screen in front of me. Life makes more sense in print. But that, my friends, is a topic for another time. 

So. My New Years Resolutions. Well, first let me give you my entire bucket list. Because somewhere in there lays who I am. And in 2013 I'd love to be able to figure that out.

So here it is: Mhea's FTL list. It's evolved, grown. I've included everything that has been on it since I was 12.

- Mardi Gras in New Orleans
- Something nerdy
- Something extreme
- Pottery
- Take a bartending course - COMPLETED Feb 2012
- Road trip it to L.A.
- Trip to Africa - COMPLETED Summer of 2010
- Swim with dolphins - COMPLETED Feb 2009
- Go wine tasting in Napa Valley
- Go for cooking lessons in Tuscany when I'm 35
- Be someone I'm not for a day
- Backpack through Europe
- Go to Vegas  - COMPLETED Feb 2012
- Take ballroom dancing lessons
- Go white water rafting - COMPLETED Feb 2004
- Visit the Grand Canyon
- Find the Charmed building in San Fransisco
- Get a tattoo - COMPLETED July 2012
- Visit Disneyland as an adult. No kids.
- Visit leaning tower of Pisa
- Learn to play chess
- Learn to play poker
- Take up calligraphy
- Renovate a house
- Make something out of clay
- Create something that will live on after I am gone
- Discover my life's purpose
- Learn to say 'no' without feeling guilty
- Make a difference in someone's life
- Join the Big Sister program
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen
- Write and publish a novel
- Be an extra in a film
- Sleep in a castle
- Create a coat of arms for my family
- See a platypus
- See gorillas in Uganda
- Hold a koala bear
- Watch turtles hatch and run to the ocean
- Have a bonsai tree
- Learn to forgive
- Learn to live in the now
- Go to a broadway show
- Go to Australia
- Go to Thailand
- Wear a dress with hoops

Alright. So I'm sure I'll add to it over the year. But as for my NYR?
- Get healthy
- Tick at least three things off my FTL list.
- Finish unpacking my house!
- Finish a couple quilts I've been working on
- Figure out what I'm doing in terms of work/ school
- WRITE MORE!

Well, I've been known to fall off the wagon. So I figure if I can start with small resolutions, I might have a chance of getting there.

Happy New Year's everyone!!

xoxo

My Greatest Fear

My greatest fear is becoming too comfortable where I am now and not living life to the fullest.

Of allowing myself to become stagnant and remain where I am now forever.

To not live the life I dream for myself.

Of growing old before my time.

He's got it.

I always seem to think I can do it myself. Even something so simple as the daily grind, I've come to realize isn't solely my battle. So when it's something huge, like say, a move to Africa, and I'm worried, and debating about things alone, I'm just fooling myself. Because I'm never alone. And He is right there beside me helping me, though I sometimes don't care to admit it.

There are so many things to consider when moving to Africa. However I only had one. My dog. Sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I love my puppy/ grief counsellor/ teddy bear/ pillow/ foot warmer/ friend etc. I absolutely adore him. And this was the one thing holding me back from moving.

I worried, I debated, I cried a little. And then one of my best friends, someone I hadn't seen since before Africa, and I hadn't told about my concerns, randomly told me she knew I wanted to go back to Africa, and she wanted to take Toby for that time. Long, or short. *Insert huge sigh of relief here*. There is nobody I'd rather leave my baby with more. She was there when we got him, and through his training, it's so perfect.

So now Africa is waiting, I'm just organizing everything, and then I will be able to be off. All my concerns have been put to rest. And once again, I've been taught that I need to let go. Put my faith in Him, and remember that He's got it. And no matter how much I try to do it alone, He keeps showing me that He never has, and never will, leave my side, and allow me to walk alone.

I'm determined..

.. to love each day more than I'm afraid of it.

I've done it again...

I just realized that once again, I've been judging myself on what I think other people think of me. Confused? Yah.. me too. For some reason, I've always thought that people must have this really negative opinion of me. One that I can't seem to get out of my head. It's not even from what people say or do, or act. It's just a me-thing. I decide that this is how they feel about me, and I'm stubborn enough to not be able to talk myself out of it. It's not rational, it's actually pretty ridiculous, but it's not something I can turn off.

But then, when I'm really starting to feel this way, I usually get a sudden influx of emails, msgs, fb posts etc from people reminding me of how amazing they think I am. I wave it off as 'that's just because they don't really know me'. I don't know whether I think I'm a horrible person, or what. I do know that I figure, considering all the craziness flying around in my own head, that people can somehow see how flustered I am 96% of the time, and that somehow every single one of my faults is transparent to the world. Apparently, it's not true.

This last week I've really been feeling that way. That everyone had negative feelings about me. And then I got a message from a friend of mine from Africa, she grew up in Kitale, and is an absolute sweetheart. This is what she sent me.

I miss you guys a lot..honestly everyone who met you thinks you are the best girls ever with big heart and I agree..What you did for those kids was unheard of! It was big. I think u guys are very special because most people don't think these kids need fun so long as they are given education and food and shelter, the rest is extra expense but you guys gave them fun and honestly we have never seen that here so its something to me. Thanks for that. Its sad because most African kids, I would say me too when I was a kid, there was nothing like fun and being kids...no swimming, dolls and all that kids stuff that's why I think those kids will remember you guys for a long time... swimming is a big deal here only the rich can do that so you can imagine how it made them feel. Also don't be surprised by this but to most kids here eating chips is a special treat, kids don't get to eat chips all time because its kinda luxury and expensive! So thank you.

Bah. She nearly made me cry! I hadn't thought about it like that. We went over with the pure intention of having fun with the kids. Here I was thinking we were horrible people because we didn't get to do as much with the kids as I would have liked. Yet something so simple as an afternoon at the pool made such a huge difference. Apparently it's not a big priority with a lot of organizations. Probably because we weren't really with an organization, and were blowing our own money, we were just good with having fun, as well as caring for their basic needs.

But I thought everyone thought that way. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not disliked as much as I'd have myself believe.

Or, the more likely option is that maybe I'm just a loon and need to be locked up.

We are our own downfall..

The biggest turn off to Christianity is Christians themselves.

How true is that?! Personally, I find that the people I like hanging out with least tend to be my Christian friends, or Christians in general. I feel I am constantly being judged, not a feeling I really enjoy. Church is my least favourite place to be, not because I don't love the worship and such, but because it's a popularity contest. Cliques among young people in churches are worse than high schools! In the one place you are supposed to be accepted, and loved, your whole character gets ripped to shreds.

When I first started looking after BabyBoy, we were in church and a couple older ladies behind me were discussing 'what a shame it was' that I had a child when I was 'clearly so young' and how 'that would never have happened in their day!'. Finally, I had enough. I turned around, and I said 'You know, I have a story for you. It's about a mother who has five kids, and took in over 150 foster kids over the last 20 years. Then one day, she gets killed in a car accident. The oldest daughter came home from across the country to help take care of the family. I'm the oldest, he's the youngest. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't judge me.' Their mouths dropped.

I guess I'm just wondering why?

Why is it, when Christians are supposed to be a people based on love, unconditional, agape love, to turn away and disapprove of homosexuals? I know that it is morally wrong, but what right do we have to tell them who they are allowed to love? And are they still not people, the artwork of God? Does He not love them the same?

Why is it that we condemn those who do wrong, however we do the same things everyday? The Bible says that all sins are equal. So we, who tell lies, or do not love, are in the same amount of trouble as those who murder, or commit adultery.

Why is it that we, although a people of great love, can be so darned cold and calculating to not only people of other faiths, but one another? Why do we insist on having this outward appearance of love, and acceptance, yet be so cruel and corrupt?

Why do I need to constantly be fighting to be someone ‘good enough’ to be considered ‘one of them’?

We were told to love. The greatest commandment of them all, maybe because it's the hardest. It's so easy to judge, or gossip, or be straight-up brutal to one another. It seems to take a lot more effort to just love. I'm the first to admit I'm guilty of this. I love being up to date on the latest news, maybe because it just makes me feel more involved. When someone ticks me off, as a friend once told me, 'they could die of frostbite' because I tend to get a bit cold towards them.

My favourite verse, since I was 13 has been:
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. ~ Matthew 5:43-48

Maybe the real reason behind this post is to remind myself of everything I've been trying to learn over the last 9 years, and once again was taught in Africa.

Getting ahead of themselves?!

So, a year or so ago I wrote a few posts on my dad's dating life. Well, guess what. He's dating again! The same woman he started dating six weeks after my mother's car accident. He made me aware of this when I was in Africa, but didn't tell me to what extent they were taking their relationship. Apparently they are planning on being married by next summer. And are selling our house and trailer for 'bigger and better' things. And putting everything that has to do with mom into storage.

Now, I have no issue with this. I'm moving out, moving on, and will probably end up in Kenya full time. However I have an issue with how they are dealing with BabyBoy. They call her 'mom' and 'mommy' to him. 'Give it to mommy!' 'Say goodbye to mommy!' It's too soon. I'm annoyed and frustrated. My mom's life is gone, for this baby, and they are ripping what she's done away. They cuddle under the picture of my mom and dad. My mom's pictures are slowly being replaced with pictures of the 'new future wife'.

When my boss in Edmonton started dating his wife, he did the same thing. And I thought he was insane, and I said if anything ever happened to my mom, my dad would never do something like that because he had his head screwed on right. But I guess I was wrong. He's moving too fast, and not thinking through things. And ripping our family apart in the process.

I don't know who will still be talking in a year, where my monkey will be, or who he'll grow up to be now. I'm wondering what Dad'll tell the baby if they break up. I wonder what will happen to the baby if anything happens to Dad after his new wife adopts him next year. Most likely I'll never see him again. Most excellent.

I suppose it won't matter. I suppose I'll just move to Kenya, focus on everyone I can help there, and trust Him. Because that's all I can do.

Will we ever learn?

One thing I miss about Africa is how easy going everyone is with one another. Here in North America, we judge. We judge people based on their hairstyles, clothes, tattoos, boyfriends, girlfriends, speech, accents, warts, colour, car, house, pet, make-up, zits, etc. We always find something to put someone down about. We aren't content with ourselves so instead we find any little fault in everyone else to make ourselves feel better. I'm the first to admit that I am guilty of this. I wish I could say it wasn't so, but I have a tendency to judge people based on the stupidest things as well.

In Kenya, women would walk down the street, or go to the pool decked out in a prom dress. And everyone would tell her how beautiful she looked, instead of giving her strange looks of disapproval. Women could wear crazy hats and interesting dresses and people would just accept it. Maybe because people in Africa had bigger things to worry about than what the person standing across the street is wearing. Or maybe because they simply do not care! Or, maybe because people have decided to take the high road and love one another.

Such a simple thing to do really. Love one another. However it seems to be the hardest thing for us to do. Maybe one day we'll learn to accept one another for who we are. Warts and all.

Be Blessed
<3 Mhea

Looking ahead..

I'm a nostalgic person. I enjoy remembering the past, so much so I sometimes forget to live in the moment. I remember when we used to ride in the old station wagons, and everyone would fight over the very back seats that faced out the back windows. There was something so appealing to watching the world as we passed it. But I find that that is what I do with my life. I keep looking backwards, remembering the past, living in it, so much so that I don't realize what's going on in the present, until it is also the past, and I'm grasping at the few memories I do have.

So this summer, I decided to live in the moment. I traded in the station wagon, and I took life head on. And I had a fabulous summer with so many wonderful people! I think that it's easier to remember the good times, than live in the unknown. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. So no more. I need to surrender it and move on!! I'm living in the moment, and giving each moment to Him. His plans are bigger than our own, a lesson I was taught in a huge way this summer. I can't wait to see what happens next. And that is the first time I've been able to say that in over two years. I'm looking towards the future, excited for what's going to happen next. Maybe I'll end up in Kitale. Maybe in Edmonton. Maybe in Mexico. But wherever it is, I know I'll be where He wants me to be, and where He can use me best.

Be Blessed
<3 Mhea

My Home

Kitale, Kenya. Africa.

It's stolen my heart. I've found my home. So much has happened here in the last two months. Lola and I have been through the wringer time and time again, yet I never want to leave. So many amazing memories that we are bringing home with us.

I haven't really known what I'm going to do with my life, but at this point I'm thinking it has something to do with this town. It's not just the amazing people who actually need me here, but it's also how close I feel to my mom here. It's like she's here. I haven't truly allowed myself to grieve for my mother yet, but here, it's part of the journey. It's a daily struggle/ joy, celebrating her life. The whole reason I'm here is because of her. Leaving this week feels like I'm losing her all over again.

Here I'm needed. I've never felt so loved, or special as when I walk into a room here, and the whole room lights up. It's a huge ego-booster, let me tell you! There's so much I've learned. So much I've seen.

I may be leaving for a short while, but I shall be back. I'm home.

Thunder Thighs

Last night, after our amazing week in Mombassa, we took the train back to Nairobi. It's an overnight train, that is supposed to take 14 hours, however on our way to Mombassa it took 15.5, and on the way back it took about 14.5, which is actually pretty good timing. The train is ancient, charming, and a good time all around. Save the bathrooms. But I'll come back to that. Our 'first class' 2 person sleeper cabin was actually the best sleep I've had all summer. The rocking of the train put Jenn and I both to sleep like babies, and people came banging on our door at least four times this morning, and I didn't wake up. Twas wonderful. The food was even pretty decent.

You know what wasn't so wonderful? The bathrooms. Apparently what passes for a 'choo' (bathroom) on this epic train is a hole in the floor that leads straight down to the track. So anything you .. output.. goes straight down onto the track. Yummy. That should discourage people from walking along the railroad track hmm? Jenn is very impressed with herself, nicknaming herself 'Thunder Thighs' after her many runins with such bathrooms.

- Breezey

Everything You Want to Know About Kitale

Flight to Kitale

We took fly540 from Nairobi to Kitale, it costs about $100USD for the flight, one way. It takes 1 hour. Your other option is a matatu (bus) that takes about 8 hours. And I wouldn't advise it due to the state of Kenyan roads.

Where to stay?

Well, you have a few options, but the best of them all would be Karibuni Lodge. With extremely reasonable prices, an amazing, helpful staff, and a wonderful couple that owns the place, there is no better place to stay. The food is amazing, a three course dinner is 650 ksh. Should you need anything at all, the smiling staff is always there to lend a hand. The whole place has such a homey feeling to it, we never wanted to leave!



Travelling..

We only used two types of transportation, although there are three to choose from. Taxi, Piki piki (motorbike taxi) and a boda boda (bycicle taxi). We never got up the courage to take a boda boda, but we did find ourselves a few amazing drivers who will keep you safe at all times. For taxi, our favourite driver was Isaac, his number is 0721447321, and our favourite piki drivers are Elisha (0726212645) and Phillip (0721430861). They are all very safe, very kind, and fair.

Eating..

The best place to eat would probably be Karibuni Lodge, but should you want something a little different, Pinewood offers both Chinese and Indian menus, although the cost is a bit steep compared to other places here. Still dirt cheap compared to North America, but in terms of Kitale, you can get a decent meal at some places for about 200KSH. Any of the hotels offer samosas, chips (fries), chips masala, eggs, chicken etc. at a decent price. Coffee shop has some really good food, and a handy little internet café right there should you need it. Here soda (pop) costs about a third of the price of bottled water, and the tap water is not safe to drink. Karibuni supplies purified water.

Shopping

If you want some North American food, the big supermarkets like Khetia’s, Transmat and Suam are the best places to check out first, but if you can’t find what you are looking for, you can try Soy. It’s the most expensive of the lot, but the most likely to have what you are looking for. If you aren’t in one of those four stores, usually you can bargain the price down on anything and everything. If you are a muzungu (white skin), you get a special price of your very own! About three times the price of what everyone else pays! So don’t fall for it, and just walk away. Nine out of ten times, they’ll chase you down and give you a better price.

Customs

In some of the outlying villages they have some customs that must be recognized before certain things can occur. One such custom is accepting tea from the lady of the house and drinking it together before you can have a  conversation. The tea here is made with milk, which isn’t pasteurized and makes us sick everytime we drink it. So we pop a gravol beforehand, and it seems to help.

Sickness

Malaria. You hear horror stories about it at home, but here it’s simply a common flu. You find out you have it, get some shots and you are good to go. If you start feeling the symptoms, get tested! You might think you don’t have it due to a lack of itchy bug bites however it’s spread through female mossies who do not give you visible bites.  Something else you are probably going to want to do is get a worm preventative that you can pick up at the local chemist here upon arrival for about 145KSH.

A little Swahili that will come in useful…

Hapana – no

Hakuna pesa – no money

Habari – how are you

Mzuri – good

Asante – thank you

Kidogo – little

Baridi – cold

Maji – water

Ndiyo – yes

Read more: http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/breezey.jenn/1/1281124174/tpod.html#ixzz2H4pufQBw

Day #26

Jenn and I have been together a lot the last month, and now we are feeling more comfortable striking out on our own. So this morning, I took a piki out to the home  around 9:30, while Jenn went into town to meet Dalton. After greeting the kids, talking to the cook and Lily, walking around the grounds, I then served tea to the 12 women we'd hired to work in the garden today. Then I went to help. Goodness! Have you ever tried to take a medieval hoe to a cornstalk?! It's blinkin impossible!! And then a grandmother who's probably about 70 comes over, sticks her hoe in and yanks the thing out. I was done with that! So I went to learn slashing.

Slashing is essentially pruning with this machete type thing. We were pruning death bushes, which is Jenn and my name for these evil bushes with one inch thorns that some people use instead of barbed wire. Twas a good way of letting out all of your pent- up aggression.

Jenn, meanwhile was off doing heaven knows what.. probably ordering cakes and just chilling around town whilst I broke my back doing manuel labour.

When they were trying to shove tea down my throat, I decided it was time to go. I had Jenn call Elisha for me, and I headed back into town. We grabbed some lunch, hit up the white butcher, and off we went. Jenn and Dalton back to Kiungani for Ladies' Fellowship, and I stuck around town, hoping to be able to go home and take a shower. However, I ran into the lovely Mama Tina and one thing led to another, and 2 hours later I hadn't accomplished much. But I'm okay with it. Twas worth the time spent!! Poor Ashley was getting her hair done too. They take no mercy when they are pulling your head in every which way!

Ah well, I headed back to the lodge, got changed quickly and grabbed Jenn a change of clothes and headed to Pinewood Hotel for dinner with Elvis, Stella, Momma Catherine, Pastor Festis, his wife Susan, and Jenn. We had a lovely time, probably about four hours of talking, laughing, etc. A wonderful time to relax. Jimmy and Newton stopped by to find out why we were ignoring their million calls during dinner. Apparently they just missed us that much. Whackos.

After we said goodbye to the troupe, Jimmy returned to pick us up and we went back to his place to watch a movie with the German musicians that are staying at his guesthouse.

After a not-so-quick check- in call from Newton and Jimmy when we got home at 11:30 tonight, we are finally ready for lala. Sweet dreams!

-Breezey

Day #25

This morning, when we finally got ourselves out of bed, and made ourselves look presentable-ish, being that we had no clean laundry and had to improvise in a big way, I dropped Jenn off at Jimmy's (Mama Tina was staying there) and then continued on to town to meet Dalton. After spending an hour at the photocopy place getting copies of all the receipts, bookwork, info on the children etc, we went to see the nurse to get copies of all of the medical records she had (which isn't much) and stop in at the fundi. Then I took a piki home to get ready for a meeting with Daniel from TI and pretty Bob.


So, Bob and I apparently share my piki driver Elisha. A few days ago, when we bought Stella's sewing machine, there was no room in the car for me, so I called Elisha but he was with Bob. I went into the store to buy a drink, came out, and there he was. I had just press send on a text to Bob saying he was allllways stealing my piki driver, but then Elisha told me that when Bob heard it was me on the phone, he'd switched pikis so Elisha could come get me. Today, similar story, except apparently when Elisha hears it's me, he ditches Bob and comes to get me. Kind of a fun game. I feel so loved.

Anywhoozles, after dropping all my stuff off at home, I met up with Bob to walk over to TI. After a not-so-fun meeting with Daniel and Bob, then a meeting just with Bob, I finally was free to join Mama Tina, Jenn, Faith, Walter and Caleb at Deep Sea for some much needed pampering.

Pretty much it for today, we got our toenails painted all pretty, and then we stopped at Agi's for a drink and fellowship. When we made it back to the lodge for dinner, Ibrahiem had made us an amazing dinner (as usual), and now it's time to hit the hay.

- Breezey

Day #9

8:24 AM

One thing I'm starting to learn and love about Africa is you can get away without learning everyone’s names very easily. You call ladies 'momma or mummy’, men ‘pastor’, and children either ‘brother’, ‘sister’, ‘my daughter’ or ‘my son’. Culturally, this is all acceptable. We have learned you go to the fundi for fixing of anything, our fundi is a seamstress. Tina pointed out a street boy who will carry our bags for a few shillings, and we’ve learned how to trade street kids a piece of pineapple for their glue bottle.

On Wednesday, after ladies group we are bringing Lily back here to stay with us for a few days. Give her some time off, and we are getting our hair done which will apparently take over a day, but will be worth it since we’ll be Kenyan apparently. Our newest challenge at the moment is trying to figure out which fundi Tina uses, so we can get the Katanga we bought made into clothes.

I don’t ever want to leave here! It’s amazing! Last night we didn’t think we’d be back in time for dinner, but we were, and kind of put Ibrahiem in a position, asking him for something so late, just a bowl of soup would do. Shoulda known he’d do better than that! Spinach stuffed steak in a delicious sauce with fried potatoes and onions and zucchini? Wowzers. We might bring him home!

7:38 PM

This morning we called Jimmy for our ride, but had issues with the car so after he finally let us skuma (push) a bit, we just took pikis to the home. Oy. There’s nothing like being on a motorcycle, on the highway, going 85 without a helmet, for 20 min. I can hear my dad and grama yelling at me from here. All I can say is numb butt. In a skirt no less! Although, Jenn did talk on the phone during that ride, so she deserves more yelling than I do!

Then we got another surprise. We got to the church late, so the worship was done. Dalton gets up and says ‘Before Sister Breezeyallie and Sister Jenn come up to speak,’ and that’s all we heard. We kinda looked at each other and went uhhhh… ok! Guess we are talking.. hmmm.. So we opened the Bible, pointed, and went from there. Seemed to go alright.

After the service we had lunch, and actually ate it all, which made Lily very happy, which made us feel awful since it was the first meal we were actually able to finish. Then we found out they wanted us to dedicate the twins, so we agreed to do it in church next week, and arranged t5o take the twins tot the doctor, gotta take care of our namesakes/ Africa daughters! Oh! And we got measures for some skirts, which should be interesting to say the least.

Then we did a toothbrushing demonstration, which went alright, Jenn and the kids had a toothbrushing party right there at the pump, twas adorable. Then we had the kids pick up the garbage from around the home, and played duck duck goose.

Jimmy finally picked us up, and we headed into town. It's fun trying to explain Canadian customs/new words to him. We were trying to explain to Jimmy that you have to woo a girl, (because he's such a lady's man) so when we got to the store, we were parked too close to the curb and I couldn’t get out. Jenn was already out and Jimmy started fixing his parking job. Jenn w as confused so Jimmy yelled ‘I’m going to woo her and we are going to elope!’ I think I scared a glue boy with how fast I jumped out of that car.. whoops.. my bad..

Read more: http://blog.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/breezey.jenn/1/1280394619/tpod.html#ixzz2H4ohyAsi

Day #8

7:56 PM

So today we were taking the kids to this park thing that seemed really awesome at first. But more on that later. We agreed to bring lunch for everyone so our morning was spent running around town trying to find stuff for meat and cheese sandwiches, and had the coffee shop make us a few containers of potato salad. They’d never had either of those things before, so it was a new experience for them. Thanks to Jimmy, who has named himself our counselor, driver, friend, photographer, bodyguard, and future Eddie  Murphy, we have tons of pictures.



So back to the park. It had all these displays about global warming, showing what would happen if we didn’t straighten out. It seemed pretty strange seeing that in Africa, but hey! Every little bit helps. After we saw that we went to this huge field that had lots of animals in it. As we walked around, we saw different birth defects.  It was awful. Cows with three eyes, lots of leg defects. It was horrible seeing these poor creatures hobbling around. Everyone else thought  it was hilarious, we were pretty frustrated and just powered through it, and then the kids went on a little boat ride while students from a local school all asked to take pics with us.



One thing that takes some getting used to is how enamoured by our skin everyone is. They always want to stroke it, kiss it, smell it, it’s a little strange at first. And everyone apologizes for everything. We were getting burnt so we were putting on sunscreen, and Lillian kepy apologizing. I looked at her and said, ‘Did you make my skin white? Did you put the sun in the sky? Did you forget to put on sunscreen this morning?! You have nothing to be sorry about!’ bahh silliness.



After their boat ride, (Jenn went too), the kids went to play on the playground, and I had to bite my tongue and repress all my training not to have a heart attack when a bull with four foot horns started running through the middle of their soccer game. Danger!!!! Bah. After a bit of playing, all 31 of them piled back into the land cruiser. How, I shall never know.



So Jimmy is trying to set us up with his friend Paul, who seems okay with it since he kepy asking what we were doing tonight. I would just quickly reply ‘lala!’ (sleep). Oy. It's an ongoing thing here, everyone wants their best friend dating the new muzungus in town apparently.. lovely.

- Breezey